My boss isn't even here today...

So why am I? I loathe this place. I get a call from Madre this am...she dropped Joe off at the gold course, and guess who she saw there? MY BOSS. She didn't know it was him at first obviously, she's never met him. But he and his work friend went up to her and asked her about the Coast Guard license plates we have on the car. And she said how Padre's in the Coast Guard, and when they asked if he worked at HQ, she said yes, and told them his name, and my boss goes "No WAY. Your daughter works for me!"

She said it took a lot of self-control not to say "Well, she WOULD, if you ever gave her any work."

And people wonder where I get it.

Today I've set my sights on job hunting for the fall. I applied to the Barnes and Noble in the burg yesterday, and I applied at Copper Beech in May. I'm not sure if either place is gonna happen, but it's worth a shot.

Another thing I'm considering and actually kind of want to do...work at a Florist. I'm not really sure why. Actually I am sure why, I'll get to that. I just think it would be cool and could potentially be easy hours and kind of fun. Sort of like getting paid to do arts and crafts. And I want to learn about flowers...

...because the more I think about it, the more I wonder if I really could be a wedding planner. I actually think I could do it. And I may or may not have just bought a book on Amazon that basically spells out how to plan weddings and how to get into the business. I honestly don't understand why I feel so compelled to at least look into this. It is such a strange stretch and not related to what I consider my "love" at all. Music Theater...Youth Ministry...Wedding Planning? I mean seriously, what the eff?

All I know is I'm being pulled in this direction. Not pushed, pulled. And everytime I've decided to follow my instincts and do something I feel pulled to do, it's turned out amazing. Like applying for Summer Friendship was so the last thing I ever wanted to do. I felt no drive to go job hunting, and then that sort of fell in my lap and I applied just because it was convenient. And it ended up being the most amazing summer job ever.

But when I tried to force things, like when I tried volunteering at Blessed Sacrament this year when I really wanted to go into Youth Ministry, it went horribly. Or even this summer, when I went and helped at Work Camp, even though I didn't really feel like it and I did it because I thought it'd be a resume booster...it was only okay. And I walked away wondering if this was a place I really fit in. I'm not totally sure. And for some reason I'm feeling less and less called to do this. Because maybe I'm not supposed to.

But I wonder if WEDDING PLANNING is what I'm supposed to do. I mean come on, it sounds totally ridiculous. But I was agonizing so much recently about what I'm going to do in a year, and I spent basically my whole weekend in NYC talking to Sarah and thinking about it. And all of a sudden this idea, as a joke, falls in my lap. And I've completely latched onto it. I wonder if all the wedding fever wasn't a coincidence at all. Because someone planted the idea, and now I'm all of a sudden looking up reception venues, and browsing through the WEDDING section in bookstores, and considering jobs at FLORISTS just so I learn more about flowers and arrangements. What if this isn't wedding fever for MY wedding, and it's just wedding fever about weddings in general?

I already know I could plan a wedding. And do an amazing job. I have zero knowledge or resources and I STILL know I could make it happen. It's the business end I'm worried about. Is this a viable source of income? How do I even get started? I don't have any money, and if you want to be an independent consultant, you start from the bottom. And have to make a name for yourself somehow. It's all very intimidating.

Today is going by relatively quickly. Thank the lord. After today I only have three more days, then BEACH! YES! AND THEN DAN! YESSSSSSSSSSS!