Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Hello mes amis! I'm writing from Utah, aka, the Beehive State (I know, what the EFF?! I had to look it up on Wikipedia)! Quick update on life:

-My sweet concert that probably would have been attended by 1000 people, I kid you snowed out. For Saturday AND Sunday. I will now detest snow for the rest of my life and will take a blow torch to the roads should it prevent me from doing anything I want again.
-Christmas at the Kingetts was a good time as always. It involved a Turducken.
-I am now obsessed with Julia Child's cookbook. I blame this 100% on Ashley Bacon. I went to visit her before Christmas and we watched Julie/Julia, that movie about the woman who blogs about Julia Child. And it involves SO much cooking...aka I am obsessed. Because I am obsessed with cooking. So when I got home I realized that madre OWNS the cookbook they talk about in the now my new thing I cannot wait to do is cook from it. Beef Bourguignon in particular. Potentially going to cook that out here. Actuall I'll (hopefully) be doing lots of cooking out here. Mrs. Snyder told Dan she'll buy whatever ingredients I want so long as she doesn't have to cook. I KNOW. So on the menu for Utah are: Shrimp Alfredo (her request for her bday which is Jan 2), Baked Chicken and Vodka Sauce (Dan's request), Homemade Sauce and Meatballs, and then, if we have time, next on the list is Beef Bourg. and Trailer Trash Chicken (sounds gross, tastes AMAZING).
-I now want to start cooking more advanced things. This is a problem due to my poorness. Let's PRAY I get that job (I'll find out hopefully Friday).
-I watched the entire Lord of the Rings Saga, EXTENDED versions. My coolness just dropped like twenty points, but whatever.
-Other significant stuff probably happened too. But I'm starting to get distracted.

My goals for my trip to Mormon Mecca are seriously start hammering down some internships for May and beyond (which so far so good, I've emailed a whole bunch of people and I have one company I REALLY want to intern for), write my program notes (so far NOT so good, should probably get on that), see Kim and Lydia, learning my Oklahoma lines (YIKES NEED TO DO THAT), and securing a job for next semester (I'm SO close. Please let this work out).

That being said, I'm going to go shower, eat, and start working on Ok! lines. And maybe wake up Dan soon?

Thursday, December 17, 2009


So I was just re-reading my posts from this summer...SUCH A SAD DAY. They're so boring! Indicative of my job I suppose. At least writing them got me through the day. Looking back I have no idea how I even survived. No...seriously.

Christmas Break is the best idea ever. Especially when JMU gives us four weeks off instead of three like they used to. As a random side note, everyone reading this (aka no one) say a prayer that I get hired by the people who I interviewed with last week, because I'm really really poor.

Anyway, Christmas Break. I've literally done nothing but sleep, eat chips, and work out. Tight. Unfortunately that all comes to end basically starting now until Mondayish, because the concert that I have been planning for over 6 months is finally coming into fruition. Noice. I think it will be good. I'm praying it will be good. No matter what, party time immediately following.

Speaking of party time, I'm going out for the first time all break tomorrow and I really need to start incorporating my newest catchphrase obsession into my vernacular--"Sorry for partying!" (thanks Joe). Dan's been saying it all the time and I really need to. I hope that tomorrow night that I remember to say it. It's the greatest excuse ever. "Oh I ran over your dog? Sorry for partying!"

Ok finally tired. Yes tina. Sleep now. Cleaning out Sarah's old house tomorrow (should be quite the emotional journey..........wooooooooooooooooooooo) and then reuniting with my love of loves (Nicole/Nala/Waldorf). And then hanging out with a lot of gay boys...aka standard.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Excel for Dummies

Highlights of the day:
"Vouz j'aider" (I had to pay close attention to catch this one)
Mexican Accent (multiple times)
Sang the alphabet while selecting columns
"Do me a fav" (he'd fit in so well at JMU)
He pronounces "formula" like "formala"
"Position your cell in B18...BINGO! Hyuck hyuck hyuck!" (no, he actually made that sound)
"I looooooove to back up to my formula bar to check my work, keeps me honest."

ALSO: The kid who sits behind me talks like Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock.

Apparently he needs a quote list too:
Teacher was talking about how this room after lunch is condusive to naps, because it's warm and you're full, and Tracy goes "I have the itis". YES TINA.
Teacher: (talking about an imaginary situation for our spreadsheet) 'But it turns out, Nancy's sales reports were not 1896, they were 2019! So let's go in and change that, and see what happens to our formula."
Tracy: can go to JAIL fo' that!

Speaking of Tracy Jordan, I watched the FUNNIEST episode of 30 Rock today at lunch. I've watched all of Season 1, but I think I was halfway passed out the first time I watched this episode because I only remember the beginning and the end. It's the episode when Jack is obsessed with Liz's new bf Floyd. But that's not what makes this episode HILARIOUS. Meanwhile, Tracy has learned that he's related to Thomas Jefferson, so he feels compelled to make a Thomas Jefferson movie. So he goes to Don Geiss asking for money, but Don Geiss says no because he can't visualize the preview for the movie. So Tracy, Grizz, Dot Com, and Kenneth make a preview...AND IT'S HILARIOUS. Tracy plays Thomas Jefferson, King George (both in white face), and the woman TJ gets with, Dot Com and Grizz are slaves (with a bluetooth), and Kenneth is a patriot soldier. I thought I was going to pee myself trying not to actually laugh out loud. That show is so insanely funny.

Excel Class

So the other intern in my department and I got so bored last week that we signed up for a Basic Excel class today (which I don't even need because I'm actually really good at excel but I'm that bored). I expected it to only be slightly stimulating (I was right). BUT what I did not account for was our instructor, who may or may not be a cartoon character. He's a 40 year old gay man who is excessively sweating, really nice, and full of catchphrases I've never heard a really person use before.

It kind of reminds me of that Gmail tutorial I made for Dan. Because so far today, he's said the following expressions to the class:
"Just click enter, and bada bing, bada boom, you're done!"
"This icon is just a quick and dirty way of printing."
"KAZOOEE! You made the box yellow!"

I will OBVIOUSLY be updating more as the day goes on, because I'm in this class until THREE. I may be bored, but I will be acquiring a wealth of catchphrases to put into practice once school begins.

KAZOOEE! Time to get back to work!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Now that I'm past my initial shock and excitement...

Ok so it's not that much work. But it's SOMETHING. FINALLY. And I REALLY like my new boss. She's so nice and not weird and/or creepy. And she's friendly and helpful. Which rocks all around. She does real estate for the Coast Guard, and basically she's just having me do busy work and organization, which is OBVIOUSLY fine with me. I also learned how to edit people's papers in Microsoft Word via the Track Changes tool. Which is SO TIGHT. I love learning new things about Microsoft Office (that's not even sarcasm). She basically gave me two different things to do. Firstly, she had edited a real-estate proposal by hand, so she had me type up her notes and insert them into the document via Track Changes. She said she needed it by Tuesday...and it took me a half an hour. It's fine (rat a tat tat). Because she gave me another project which will probably be more time consuming. She wants me to organize a spreadsheet about all 26 of her real estate agents that emphasizes renewal dates and important things she needs to keep track of. My thoughts are...organizing? Via spreadsheet? Emphasizing information on said spreadsheet using my out of this world excel skills? I AM SO THERE.

I would get started on that now but she wants to guide me through the info a little bit more before I do. And she's already gone for the day. I'm not even kidding, I feel like I'm one of the last people to leave this office every day. Everyone leaves at like, 3:30. But that's because they all get here at SIX THIRTY. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?! Why would you EVER want to work that early? What are we, farmers? It's called 9 to 5 for a reason. Or in my case, 7 to 5:30. But that's fine because I never work Fridays. Which has worked out extremely well for my summer plans.





Fail Blog

Saves my life in this place.

But it's okay because I only have six more hours until it's the WEEKEND YES!!!!! I'm gonna get all kinds of tan this weekend, provided it doesn't storm. We'll see how that pans out. Either way I'm destined to have a pokeballin time, because Nicole and I are going to have a sweet roadtrip and cause mischief. Plus we're gonna go to PLANET PIZZAAAAAA. I should get a t-shirt this year. Good effing times.

Also, I think today my excursion is going to be to the Basilica. I mean why not, you know? I need to go to Confession before this weekend, and they offer it in the afternoon. So I'm leaving here at 2:30, hopefully I'll be back around 4 or 4:30. Totally fine. Because it's not like I have work to do. And if my boss complains I'll tell him I had a religious obligation. Which is not even a lie. So suck it!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Only 14 (but really only 11 1/2) more days

I just took a three hour lunch and galavanted around D.C. with Ash...and no one knew (or cared). Will obviously be doing this more in the future.

Also, I realized I really only have 11 1/2 more days of this. Technically I have 14 more days of work, but next Thursday I can leave early if I want because apparently there's a baseball game in the middle of the day and people are allowed to leave early and get paid so they can see it (which I won't see it, but I can pretend to). And then the following week I don't have to work Tuesday or Wednesday because we're going to Elizabeth City, NC (and getting paid for it) overnight (and we're going to the beach).

What is my life?

And this is why my eyes are closed, it's just as well for all I've seen

I wish this building had two things...firstly, a secret room I could go to and take naps where no one will catch me. And secondly, a soundproof practice room with a piano. So that I can sing when I want, or play when I want.

Like now.

Monday, July 27, 2009

A lifetime achievement, or just a new low?

So today I successfully took a two hour nap underneath my desk. I had tried this on two separate occasions, but was not successful until today.

Yes, I am indeed very proud of myself.

My boss isn't even here today...

So why am I? I loathe this place. I get a call from Madre this am...she dropped Joe off at the gold course, and guess who she saw there? MY BOSS. She didn't know it was him at first obviously, she's never met him. But he and his work friend went up to her and asked her about the Coast Guard license plates we have on the car. And she said how Padre's in the Coast Guard, and when they asked if he worked at HQ, she said yes, and told them his name, and my boss goes "No WAY. Your daughter works for me!"

She said it took a lot of self-control not to say "Well, she WOULD, if you ever gave her any work."

And people wonder where I get it.

Today I've set my sights on job hunting for the fall. I applied to the Barnes and Noble in the burg yesterday, and I applied at Copper Beech in May. I'm not sure if either place is gonna happen, but it's worth a shot.

Another thing I'm considering and actually kind of want to at a Florist. I'm not really sure why. Actually I am sure why, I'll get to that. I just think it would be cool and could potentially be easy hours and kind of fun. Sort of like getting paid to do arts and crafts. And I want to learn about flowers...

...because the more I think about it, the more I wonder if I really could be a wedding planner. I actually think I could do it. And I may or may not have just bought a book on Amazon that basically spells out how to plan weddings and how to get into the business. I honestly don't understand why I feel so compelled to at least look into this. It is such a strange stretch and not related to what I consider my "love" at all. Music Theater...Youth Ministry...Wedding Planning? I mean seriously, what the eff?

All I know is I'm being pulled in this direction. Not pushed, pulled. And everytime I've decided to follow my instincts and do something I feel pulled to do, it's turned out amazing. Like applying for Summer Friendship was so the last thing I ever wanted to do. I felt no drive to go job hunting, and then that sort of fell in my lap and I applied just because it was convenient. And it ended up being the most amazing summer job ever.

But when I tried to force things, like when I tried volunteering at Blessed Sacrament this year when I really wanted to go into Youth Ministry, it went horribly. Or even this summer, when I went and helped at Work Camp, even though I didn't really feel like it and I did it because I thought it'd be a resume was only okay. And I walked away wondering if this was a place I really fit in. I'm not totally sure. And for some reason I'm feeling less and less called to do this. Because maybe I'm not supposed to.

But I wonder if WEDDING PLANNING is what I'm supposed to do. I mean come on, it sounds totally ridiculous. But I was agonizing so much recently about what I'm going to do in a year, and I spent basically my whole weekend in NYC talking to Sarah and thinking about it. And all of a sudden this idea, as a joke, falls in my lap. And I've completely latched onto it. I wonder if all the wedding fever wasn't a coincidence at all. Because someone planted the idea, and now I'm all of a sudden looking up reception venues, and browsing through the WEDDING section in bookstores, and considering jobs at FLORISTS just so I learn more about flowers and arrangements. What if this isn't wedding fever for MY wedding, and it's just wedding fever about weddings in general?

I already know I could plan a wedding. And do an amazing job. I have zero knowledge or resources and I STILL know I could make it happen. It's the business end I'm worried about. Is this a viable source of income? How do I even get started? I don't have any money, and if you want to be an independent consultant, you start from the bottom. And have to make a name for yourself somehow. It's all very intimidating.

Today is going by relatively quickly. Thank the lord. After today I only have three more days, then BEACH! YES! AND THEN DAN! YESSSSSSSSSSS!

Monday, July 20, 2009

It's an addiction for a reason

This year I have developed a shopping addiction. I am completely aware of this. It's theraputic for me. Anytime I feel particularly stressed out, upset, or bad about myself, I buy stuff. I do not classify this in the dangerous stage (yet), simply because I don't just buy things and never use them. I legit buy things I want and end up using. It doesn't change the fact that in general these are not things I NEED. Maybe one day this addiction will go away. It's definitely gotten better than it was. But I kind of hope it doesn't because now I look put together all the time.

Here's an example of how far it's escalated: This morning, as routine (especially at work), I was browsing I decided to look at shoes today, and they had a pair of really cute black ankle boots, which I still don't have a pair of. AND they were only $28. And so I started imagining outfits I would wear said boots with. But I didn't buy them. Then this afternoon, I decided just to browse dresses on I'm usually not a huge fan, but I'm going there after work today, so I figured I'd preemptively see if there was anything good. Then I saw this black dress, just a short-sleeved jersey dress, simple, but practical, and I said to myself "Omg, this dress with tights and those black ankle boots would be sooooo good."


Sooooooooo pathetic. I wish I spent my day fantasizing about my career, saving the planet, world peace, or at least something lucrative. Instead I spend all day thinking about weddings, boys, and OUTFITS. How shallow am I?

Although, speaking of weddings, Sarah came up with an interesting career idea that I hadn't really considered. We spent all weekend talking about the future, and one of the things I'm becoming increasingly concerned about is how I have ZERO vision for even a year from now. There's nothing I really feel drawn to. I feel like there's some reason for this that I haven't been clued into yet, whether it be a life experience I need to have or what have you, but today she said something that sparked my interest...or at least the wedding fever's interest.

What if I became a wedding planner? JLo style? I would probably be awesome at it actually. It combines two of my great loves--weddings, and planning things.

It's an option.

My day so far

...has consisted of reading through SEVENTEEN PAGES of Perez Hilton.

I even emailed my boss (well, the one I started working for last week) this morning to be like "Let me know if you have anything for me!" She responded with "Will do Shannon, I was in a meeting so give me a few."

TWO HOURS AGO. So you know what? Whatever. I'm trying. Tonight I'm going out and buying 30 Rock Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD and bringing them to work. Of course this means I'm going to get assigned work, but at least either way I'll have something to do.

In other news, today is such a strugfest in terms of how tired I am, but at least I feel better than I did yesterday. Aka no swine flu for me. I'm just totally exhausted. I need to go to bed super early tonight.

I also made a semi-completed mix at work today. My iTouch is infinitely better than my old iPod, I'm obsessed. I'll finish it when I get home. It's hard to sort through all of the music I have without a computer. And I don't want this mix to be lame/only the stuff I've been listening to recently.

Also I love Rufus Wainwright.

I think this year I'm going to make all my friends make me a mixed CD. So far Gigi is the only one to follow through. Because I love new mixes. So if you're reading this, make me a mixed CD right now.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Weekend of glory

So many of these titles have glory in them somewhere. I feel like this bodes well for my life. As long as I continue to feel the need to use the word glory in reference to thing I've done, then I'm good to go.

Let's discuss how insanely epic by weekend was. I'm currently on the Bolt Bus home from NYC to DC. I came up on Friday to spend the weekend with Sarah. Aka, best decision ever.

After a morning of panic I got on the bus and ended up in NYC around 4. Met up with Sar, the girls she babysits, and Tommy Hendrickson. We chilled for a bit, then Tommy left, Sarah's boss came home, and we left to grab dinner.

Because you see we already had plans for that evening...Sarah had gotten us VIP tickets to see Nathan Gunn perform with the New York Philharmonic in Central Park. There were probably 50,000 people there. And we were 15 rows back, max? He performed five Copland pieces that were AMAZING--I've never heard such good diction. And I actually loved them, and I usually hate Copland. Then the NY Phil played Mahler's Symphony No. 1, which was stunning. The only part that sucked was that during the last fifteen minutes it started to rain, so they had to stop halfway through the fourth movement. Such a bummer. Plus, since it was raining, we didn't get to meet Nathan Gunn, which we probably would have otherwise, since Sarah had spent the past two days with him. Which included attending a red carpet movie premiere. I know, what is her life.

After the concert we were pretty tired (we're both still jet lagged, neither of us slept much this week) so we went back to Brooklyn, which I LOVE, and passed out. Best night of sleep everrrrr! Next day we woke up, grabbed some bagels (DELICIOUS), and rode into the city. We decided to try to get tickets for West Side, because I've wanted to see it for over a year now when I heard it was coming to Broadway (it got to Broadway in January). It's my favorite musical of all time. The way the lottery works is you get in line, and then at 11:30 they open the doors, and you write your name down on a little sheet of paper and you can request one or two tickets. They leave the doors open until noon, and then it's over, and they draw names. There were probably about 40 people trying to get tickets, and they were only gonna pull roughly nine sheets (basically everyone requested two tickets), because the front row only has 18 seats. So we submitted our names, chilled, and then came back at noon to see what would happen. Sarah was the SECOND name he called, and we were obviously beyond stoked. That also meant our seats were in the center, because the tickets are handed out from the aisles in. So yes, I saw West Side Story, my favorite musical of all time, from front row center. Un-fricken-belivable.

Before the show we just ran around Times Square wasting time. Lame/awesome tourist stuff, like the M&M store, Hershey store, and Toys-R-Us. Then it was time for el show...which was without a doubt the most incredible thing I've ever seen. I've been to Broadway shows a lot before...this doesn't even compare. I have no idea how it didn't win Best Revival. Literally life changing. I obviously sobbed. There's a reason it's my fav.

After the show we were both so wrecked that we didn't even try to get tickets to Hair, which was our original plan, because neither of us had any desire to see anything else post-West Side. We ended up meeting up with Rayanne, and the three of us went to mass at St. Patrick's, which was cool, and then Rayanne bought us dinner. I was totally exhausted and so was Sar, so we ended up just going back to Brooklyn, chilling for a while, and then we went to Howard and Kirsten's (Sar's cousin's house) just to chill for a bit. Watched this semi-boring British comedy. Went back to Sar's, fbed for a bit, then passed out.

Woke up this am feeling sick. Nooooooooo bueno. We went to brunch with Howard and Kirsten, and we gonna go to the Met (art museum, not opera house), but I was lame and really just needed to drink water and sleep more. So we chilled and watched 30 Rock which was glorious. I don't know why I don't own it on DVD. That needs to change immediately.

Then I hopped on the Subway back to Penn Station and here I am. A pretty bamf weekend, even though I feel like crap today. So glad I get to spend ten hours at work tomorrow.

But you know what? It's totally fine, because this week I have plans with Eek, I can chill all weekend, then in two weeks I'm going to VA Beach with SF (it's gonna be ballin), and right after than DAN IS COMING HOME AND STAYING WITH ME FOR LIKE, TWO WEEKS. I obviously am stoked. And then its like, three days and I'm back to school. Pretty awesome. It'll go by better.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

I am too fresh-2-def for this office

So sad and egotistical, but its true. Granted, lots of the people here wear uniforms. But I think I choose to dress even MORE bright and trendy because it's my own personal rebellion against this place. For instance, I have a pair of white wayfarers. They are 100% out of place here. But I obviously wear them anyway. A bright salmon shirt with a purple bag? Done and done. Belts and black patterned tights? Yup. Anything to make it clear that I do not belong in this establishment.

My outfit is FRESH today. Gotta love retail therapy (I have a problem).

What is this work thing you speak of?

HOLD THE PHONE--Shannon is getting work today. This is relatively good news, considering in the three weeks I've worked here I've had two small tasks to do and that's it. I guess this lady isn't my new boss but she's who I'm working for for at least a little while. Medical spreadsheets...who. But you know what? I'm totally fine with that. And I think she'll be a little more exciting than the amigos I've been working with, considering that in her tiny cube she has a Harley Davidson mousepad and a picture of Cruella Deville. Tight.

I wonder if I'm wrongfully assuming I'll have a lot to do. I met this other intern yesterday on our trip to Baltimore, and I saw him again today when I met said new boss lady. I guess he's been working for her since the end of June and he said he always has a crap ton of work. So maybs I'll finally have some semblance of purpose in this office? But that might be wishful thinking. She told me she MIGHT have something for me to do after lunch.

Until then, I blog and write Dan emails. And obsess over Lydia's wedding.

Which, I decided I'm throwing her a Bridal Shower before I go back to school. Obviously way excited about that. And actually I think I need to start hanging out with her and Devin a lot more, because I've only met him ONCE and she's my best friend and they're ENGAGED. That's not gonna fly. So he's about to get a nice large helping of Sh-non for the rest of this summer. Of only everyone could be so lucky.

All of this wedding business is crazy. She came over last night and we spent hours just talking about all the details. She's getting married October 9. Which in my mind seems far since it's only July, but then I thought about it...that's less than three months from now. INSANE. But anyway, just talking about all the details she's been working out makes it all seem SO real. I thought we were still little babies, how the eff are we old enough to be planning weddings?

Also this really doesn't help with wedding fever. I really hope her wedding cures me of it...but I have a feeling it won't. Maybe when Sar gets engaged and I am the maid of honor and therefore have more responsibilities that will cure me. I'm really excited though because this whole wedding/reception sounds TOTALLY Lyds. Which, it should, it's her wedding. But her colors are fall themed, so like, burnt orange (I know, typical Lydia), gold, and orangey red. And their wedding is at 11 am at the DC Temple, but then she's having a luncheon with just familia (and Kimbo and me apparently) and a reception at 6 that night. And the reception is gonna be in her backyard (which is sweet, btw, it has like a pond and stuff) with candles all over the place. I'm totally stoked. I will cry all day. It will be beautiful.

Dang it. Wedding fever. All I want to do is look at wedding reception venues. BUT I WILL NOT BECAUSE THAT IS CRAZY.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009





Ok I need to get some composure.

So I was writing a super in depth email about the whole trip, and I got to the part about the Chinese Pop Star who we got to see perform, and I realized that there would be a video of her on the Llangollen website since she made it to the finals. So I found it, and via my phone, I posted the link to it as my status (, start at 3:38, you won't be disappointed).

Not long after I did this, DJ commented on my status and mentioned that she had a Facebook. Which made me curious. So I Googled her name (Jia Ruhman). Turns out, her name was spelled incorrectly on the website. And she must actually be pretty famous, because it came up with a correct spelling...Jia Ruhan.


So I obviously went to her website,

...and it has videos of some of the things she's been in. Please, I'm BEGGING you, if you value hilarity in any capacity, WATCH THEM.



I just can't stop listening to this song:

I'm growing more and more obsessed with Marc Broussard. TJ is gonna be so stoked.

Ignore the beginning and the end. And also close your eyes, because I hate Gilmore Girls. But it's the only video I could find.

I now pronounce you addicted to weddings

Remember when I posted about how I wanted everyone to get engaged? Well, it turns out, that happening does nothing to improve my wedding fever.

Last night when I got home from work Lyds (for those of you not in the know, she's been my best friend since I was 15) called me. I actually almost didn't answer because I was absolutely exhausted and wanted to take a baby nap before dinner, but I hadn't talked to her since my bday so I answered. This is essentially how the conversation went:

Shan: Hiiiiii!!!!
Lyds: Hi Shan how are you?!
Shan: Gooooood, how are you?
Lyds: Pretty gooood!!

But I could hear it in her voice. She sounded excited and not just because she was talking to me.

Shan: Hold on. What's going on? Is something going on?
Lyds: What? Yeah everything's fine!
Shan: Are you okay? You sound like you have something to tell me.
Lyds: Haha yeah I'm fine! No, everything's good!

And then I was confused because I was sure I was right.

Shan: Oh, ok, well that's good haha
Lyds: Well, I actually do have some news.

(heart stops)

Lyds: I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!

I mean, I knew to expect it soon. We hung out in May and she straight up told me they had talked about getting married and it would be in October, he just hadn't proposed yet. But it's still so nuts. I remember when Lydia hadn't even held hands with someone. And now she's engaged. It's so weird.

I think the weirdest part is that it actually is socially acceptable. Lydia is mormon, and mormon girls tend to get married a lot younger than most non-mormons. Right after we graduated high school I used to talk about how I thought she had the potential to be engaged within a year and how weird that would be for me because we were so young. But we're 21. I actually am stunned she lasted this long.

I just can't believe it. It's going to be such a change. Suddenly we're all becoming adults. I mean think about it. Sarah's one semester away from cutting ties to home and moving to NYC forever. Lydia could potentially be pregnant in a year. Most of my friends are going to spend the next ten months figuring out what REAL job they're going to get. It's surreal.

I feel sadly behind. It's so unlike me to have zero idea of what's to come. I'd like to think it's because the stars are aligning and setting me up for something amazing, but I wonder if that's just wishful thinking. It's kind of scary. Actually a lot scary.

In the meantime, I'll continue to obsess over Lydia's happiness and spend my day looking at bridesmaid dresses and pictures of the DC temple. Want to hear something depressing? Lyds is about to marry the man of her dreams, and I don't even have a date to her wedding. I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE!!!!!!!!!

Psh please. Any man would be lucky to have me.

Monday, July 13, 2009

My life

I always forget how insanely hilarious dinner with the familia is. I knew tonight would be no exception to this when at the start of the meal my dad got hit full in the face with a sprinkler. And while my brothers are hilarious, its only more ridiculous when Jacob's best friend Kyle is over. Kyle is literally Jacob part 2, but he says dumber things. Kyle and Jacob's gf Kate were over tonight, and needless to say, I was only reminded of why I am so happy to be back in the US of A. (Well that and Madre made homemade spaghetti, which if you've ever had hers, you understand.) I think one night I'm going to video tape dinner and just put it on youtube. Because I always talk about Kingett dinners but I don't think I ever fully capture it for people. They fill me with such joy.

Anyways, the only reason I'm writing in this is because Kyle wanted me to summarize my life, and apparently this is how it should go:

I was born a loser, then I became an even bigger loser, but then I met Kyle Swanson and became awesome.

This story could be the reason I tell Kyle he's a failure and will never amount to anything every time I see him.

Dang I love being home.


This has been what feels like the longest day ever. Even longer than my first day when I didn't even have computer access. This is what I've done today:

Ate my breakfast
Read the ONE work email I received while gone for two weeks
Read other people's blogs
Visited various humor websites
Started an in depth email to Ev Ash and Dan with details from el trip, got through only two days and then had to stop
Went to the bathroom to take a nap
Had a text convo w/ Joe about NYC
Watched what feels like HOURS of youtube videos
Ate lunch
Emailed Meghan
Stared at the pictures on my desk (I kid you not)
Took a walk
Talked to Laura on the phone about rent
Watched some Chorale vids
Took ANOTHER nap in the bathroom
Called about my car (which is fixed YES)
Talked to Jacob on the phone about HP (which I still have no plans for?! I need to fix that)
Drafted two different blogs, did not finish either of them.
Blatantly went outside to talk on the phone to Nicole to tell her about England
Blatantly STAYED outside after I got off the phone to work on my tan
Had a text convo w/ Katie about wedding fever

And here I am. If you didn't pass out reading this blog then I commend you, because I almost had to go back to the bathroom to take another nap after I finished re-reading it. I'm just praying that the carpool needs to leave by 5 instead of 5:30 today so I can GO HOME AND EAT SPAGHETTI (homemade, according to Madre's text. Why is she so good to me?) AND THEN PASS OUT.

Dang you Jack Hearn. This is what I have been playing on repeat for the last hour (just the song, the video is stupid):

It's been a while, so I thought I'd continue with the 300 list:

21. Doesn't find my brothers funny
22. Won't dance with me, even if it's just like a crazy person
23. You hate my cooking
24. I hate your cooking
25. You hate the beach

JUST READ THIS: In the United States, National Tequila Day is July 24

I think we need to fully celebrate this holiday.

I'm BACK playas

Before I begin, I'd just like to say that while I obviously wasn't looking forward to coming into work today, I wasn't dreading it as much as usual, because I figured I'd have a lot to take up my time via the internet, seeing as I've been without it for two weeks.

Turns out, didn't take too long to catch up, seeing as I've only been at work for 40 minutes and I'm already done. What the effffffff.

So over la voyage de l'angleterre, Josh told me about proxy websites that grant you access to fbook at work. Turns out, the federal gov't is one step ahead. Because I googled "Facebook proxy" and EVERY WEBSITE I CLICKED ON is blocked too. Dang you US Coast Guard, dang you!

So blogging it is. I considered doing an insanely long blog about everything I did in the country of tea and Foster's, but I quickly rejected this idea because a)I got bored just thinking about writing that all down, b)the people who read this and were there don't need a recount, and c)the people who weren't there don't WANT a huge recount.

So instead I'm going to do a pros/cons list. There's no real order to this other than what came to mind first.

Reasons I'm sad to be home/things I'll miss about England:
Not having to wake up at 5 every day
Me and my shadow
The Wessex Male Choir
Coventry Cathedral
Team Awesome
Susie and Andy
Being around some of my favorite people legitimately 24/7
Strongbow and Blackthorn
The University of Houston (Hoo-ston)
An excuse to speak primarily in a british accent
Bus rides with Josh Eflin
DJ Godinez
The drive home from the festival every day
Traffic due to cow crossings
Bus Wooo
The abundance of red heads
Socializing every night until at least 2
...are you even awake?!
Shosalosa (that's blatantly not how it's spelled)
The Lady Chapel
King's Cross and Platform 9 3/4
Seeing Sarah every day
In real life and isn't it just?
Toasts to American Independence...led by an Englishman
Bringing the Happy Birthday Chorus abroad
Welsh Cakes
Taco Bell Canon
The first place celebration
Being on British TV
How good the water made my hair look
The garden in Ely
Having nothing to do in Wales...which resulted in some of the best bonding ever
Holding hands with Katie
RJ and the arms crossed multiplication rule
"Mom...I can't talk right now...I'm in Shakespeare's house!"
"What's the difference between regular AIDS and feline AIDS?"
"Just rip it out and eat the meat"
"I'm so PINGY right now!"
"I can see Outback!"
"Go for it Andy!"
"Wow, look at how tan that man is!" "Lauren...that man is INDIAN."
Texas pins and hand signs

Reasons I'm happy to be home/things I will NOT miss about England:
The slightly varied computer keyboard. Talk about annoying.
Weird scrambled eggs
Chips that are MEAT FLAVORED
Madre's food
The ability to be grounded as a 21 year old
The Fahrenheit system
VA Weather
Being able to charge electronics
Having a voice
My bed
My brothers
All of the Women's Chorus Rep
Being able to walk on the grass
8 hour flights sitting near NO ONE
Team Shaniel emails
Being able to drive
Gym access/tennis shoes
Holy Family
Constant reminders
Prison like living quarters
No more being bombarded with emails

It's still sort of surreal that I just was in England for 12 (well, 11) days. It's so weird, it's almost like the past two weeks didn't even happen and that I'm just back at work on Monday morning. What an amazing trip though, I mean for realz. I didn't expect it to be like that. I actually didn't have any expectations at all. I wasn't looking forward to it though, just because as cool as it was gonna be to leave the country, I didn't think there was anything THAT compelling about going. Turns out I was super wrong. It was basically glorious.

So I just watched the vids of Chorale (which can be found here) and I've gotta be real, I don't understand how we placed first in Youth Choir and fourth in Mixed. Turns out, we sounded a LOT better in Mixed. And I watched the video of Riverside, who won that competition, and I'm not saying they didn't deserve to win because they did sound really good, but I honestly think we were comparable. It truly is subjective I guess. Because they placed first and we placed fourth. It's probably good we didn't place first though, because Leonardo actually didn't sound that good. And because by Saturday night the last thing I wanted to do was compete AGAIN.

Well I spose I'll just post this now and occupy my time via youtube for a bit. Because I actually ASKED my boss for work to do...and I have nothing. So I guess I can't feel bad or like I'm slacking off.

Most likely what's going to happen is I'm just going to start another blog post. It's fine (is it? yes, it is....I miss Giiiiiig).

Friday, June 26, 2009



Thursday, June 25, 2009

Ah the things you'll never see

So I just spent like two hours writing this intense blog post about expression and how this place supresses it and how I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate...but before I posted it I waited like 15 minutes...and now I'm not gonna post it. I don't feel the need. It's too wordy and boring and there was no specific train of thought and nobody cares enough to read it. I just needed to write it and get it out of my system. So now it will sit in blogger forever and I can read it but no one else needs to be subjected to it. Tight.
This is what I did today at work:

In case you were wondering, that's the COMMANDANT'S plane (the head of the entire Coast Guard). This plane cost 5 MILLION DOLLARS to make...and that was in 2001. It's easily the nicest plane I've ever been it, and probably ever WILL be in. Usually it's being used to transport VIPs (so not just the Commandant) all over the world, but sometimes they need it for training exercises, which was what happened today and why I got to ride it. I guess whoever used to have my job is friends with one of the pilots, and so a few months ago he took her out on one of the training drills. So she arranged for a couple of the interns in her old office and a couple people in her new office (she got promoted but still works at CG Headquarters) to go out today. We flew from Reagan to Dover, Delaware, and the training was taking/off landing, so we practiced that three or four times and then came home.

So essentially I got to do this just for kicks. And it doesn't count as leave (time off) because a)it's for the Coast Guard, and b)Apparently with summer hires they encourage supervisors to give you cool trips, because they want you to come back and work for the Coast Guard permanently. It's a recruiting tool. A recruiting tool I am TOTALLY down with. Because so far, this is what I'm doing this summer:
-A trip to the Capital to sit in on a Coast Guard hearing (which I actually didn't go to because it was on a Friday and I don't work Fridays)
-A trip to Dover and back in an airplane
-A trip to Baltimore to ride on a CG Cutter (a boat)
-A FREE OVERNIGHT trip to Elizabeth City, I guess to go on a tour of a building. Oh, and did I mention this is during the work week? And did I also mention that we get PAID to go? I wonder if we'll be able to go to the beach...

Pretty fricken sweet.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

If only we were going Friday, then I could gamble!

Before 30 seconds ago, I was planning on blogging all about how this place could bore a rock to tears.

But then I was told that tomorrow I was going to go on a plane ride. To where? Who knows. My boss said last time they went to Atlantic City. For what purpose? Just to ride in a plane.

I think I asked this yesterday...WHERE AM I?!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I like people from Mary Washington

This is the second summer I've worked with someone who goes to Mary Washington. Obviously last summer it was my soul mate Nicole (Mfeo). If your life is so sad that it does not already include Nicole, here is just a taste of her gloriousness. It's one of her featured posts from our really popular and frequently written in Summer Friendship blog from last summer:

This summer my Fredericksburg daytime pal is named Sarah. She works two rows over from me. Obviously as we all sit in cubes all day she cannot see me and I cannot see her, but today she came over to my row and talked to me for an hour. Which means that currently she is my favorite person in the entire world because helped me waste an hour of work. The only other person who has done that for me is Perez Hilton. Mostly we discussed how we literally have no idea what to do with our lives while we're here. We share a common bond...extreme boredom. Plus I get the sense that she, like me, is used to being super busy and productive all the time, so in this place of mediocrity she feels lost and bewildered (as do do I) and without purpose.

But she heard that our boss is taking all the interns to Baltimore at some point to go out into the Chesapeake on a cutter. Oh, and by take us to Baltimore, I mean FLY us to Baltimore. Which is ridiculous/awesome. Hopefully that doesn't happen while I'm in England.

But I was thinking after she left to go back to her desk after we talked about all kinds of things (not even in the awkward small talk way, it was in the I like you as a human being kind of way) that so far I've had a very positive experience with people who attend Mary Washington.

But everyone else in the world regardless of whether they attend/attended Mary Washington PALES in comparison to Nicole. PALES I SAY!

Well friends, just got the logging off email. Did I do ANY work today? ...nope. None.

I'll bring back the 300 reasons why I won't marry you tomorrow, so look forward to that.

I think I may have reached the epitome of boredom

I just spent the last hour google-mapping all of my old homes/schools/churches. Which there are a lot of. I was actually amazed at how many addresses I remembered. For instance, from age 1-6 I lived at 110 Sheridan Dr. in Cape May, NJ. Why do I remember things like this? A 6 year old doesn't even need to know their address at the time, let alone 15 years later.

I couldn't remember all of my addresses, particularly for the houses a year after the fire (aka 4th and 5th grade, because I lived in three different houses in two years). Like I knew I lived at 131 something Marshfield, MA, but I couldn't remember the name of the road. So I stunned myself again by google mapping a church I DIDN'T EVEN ATTEND and then visually remembering the drive home from said church. So I followed the roads that would have made that and I found my house. On Valley Path. Seriously, my brain is weird. And I really love maps.

I also Google Mapped Grand Isle, Louisiana, which is where I spent the first year of my life (even though I obviously don't remember it) because I wanted to see where I was born. Turns out, that place BLOWS. Granted, a lot of it could have been destroyed during Hurricane Katrina (it's below New Orleans)...but based on what Madre's told me, it blew before that. Good thing I only lived there a year.

This got me thinking about schools I attended as a wee young lass, and I decided to look up my elementary school. Other than HS, its the only place I spent longer than two years at, and I actually still remember all my teachers/all the weird stuff they had us do because it was a Catholic School. Like the Christmas Pageant the First Grade puts on every year (I was HEAD Angel, which is pretty much the best part in the whole pageant, because the angels got to do a ballet dance to Silent Night, and since I was head Angel, I got to be a reader..."A is for Angel. And the heavenly hosts sang 'Peace on Earth, and good will towards men.'" Only 25 other kids in the whole first grade got to read, and none of them got to dance. My part=best part). I was really sad we had to move before 5th grade, because the fifth grade got to do Stations of the Cross, and all the girls wanted to be Mary, because she got to sing a whole song by herself. I wonder if I would've gotten to be Mary. Probably not, because my music teacher didn't think I was a good singer. Or she would have put me in the special choir for the school's Spring Music Program, which she didn't. WELL CHECK ME OUT NOW!!

We did all kinds of weird things at this elementary school. For instance, in the fourth grade, they thought it would be a cool idea if once a month, a grade presented a song for the rest of the school via the TV announcements. Meaning some church hymn. And I don't mean sing...I mean PRESENT. Yes, it's true...I used to know choreographed hand motions to "On Eagle's Wing's." It's fine.

So I looked through the faculty to see if my teachers were still there. I don't even remember my 2nd and 3rd grade teachers because they were nuns so we didn't fear them, so who knows if they're still there. But my first and fourth grade teachers are STILL THERE. THEY HAVE TO BE 80 YEARS OLD BY NOW!!! In 4th grade I had Sister Lorraine. She wasn't that scary, actually. She was kind of like your grandma...usually really nice to you, but she'll yell at you for acting like an idiot.

But in first grade...and I do not exaggerate...I had the scariest teacher in the WHOLE SCHOOL. Sister Jacqueline. She was old and mean but man did I learn a lot. And she taught me to fear teachers until the day I die. She was probably the most feared person in that building...and she taught the FIRST GRADE. When I moved to MA as a 6 year old I basically had no knowledge of any subject, because I went to "feel good kindergarten" where my only two memories are of a bear that each kid would take home and have their parents write in a journal about, and of a kid who stapled his hand in class. No learning. Luckily I knew how to read really well because my parents rock. I still remember the first day of first grade though...all the kinds knew crap about vowel sounds and phonics, and I was like "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!" Plus, I spent all day with the scariest woman of all time and I didn't want her to know that I was stupid. So if you ever wondered why I am the way I am when it comes to school and learning about things...blame her.

Her most terrifying moment, although looking back her most HILARIOUS moment, happened in the winter. We were all chillin, I think making some kind of arts and crafts, minding our own 6 year old business...when Sr. J goes "What is that SMELL?" Obviously the class went silent. And I distinctly remember thinking "what smell?" And she walks around the room, and stops in front of this one girl, and this girl looks SCARED OUT OF HER MIND, and Sr. J goes "What. Did. You. Do...why didn't you ask to use the bathroom?!" and the girl couldn't even answer because she was so scared. So Sr. J, without another word, walks her out into the hallway to the nurse's office, because said little girl PEED HERSELF. Turns out she was too afraid to ask to go to the bathroom.

AND SR. J KNEW. And this is why, later, when we were no longer fourth graders and realized she actually wasn't that scary, we still revered her. Because she had the nose of a bloodhound and the tenacity of a mighty, she was a nun. So she had GOD on her side. I would totally go back and visit her if I could. Although I might be too afraid to speak.

Awkward table continued

Back at work. I wish I could fall asleep with my eyes open. That would probably make this go by faster.

Anyway. Back to la wedding. So my good friends, brother and sister (can't remember their names), were extremely chatty. At one point in the conversation, sister asked ex-dukette if she had any advice for a HS Senior about to enter college.

I looked around, incredulous. Was this Summer Springboard part dos? But sadly, no one else at my table shared my intrigue. Also, I was stunned because they had brought a DISPOSABLE CAMERA to this wedding. They even said they purchased it specifically for this event. I mean who knows, maybe their digital camera broke...but my intuition is telling me that I'm setting my thoughts too high. I don't even think I remember how to get film developed. If I want hard copies of my pictures, I upload them to, like every other self-respecting American.

Out of the many things we (they) discussed, a popular topic was how good Jack and I were at singing. This was actually one of the most popular topics of the entire evening, and not just from our table. It was second only to the actual celebration of matrimony itself.

A random man who I do not know just walked up to me and told me to let him know when we're ready to take over the world.


Also, at least 6 different people asked if Jack and I were married. The first time someone asked me this I actually laughed in their face, but then realized this was incredibly rude and politely told them no. Clearly we were at a Southern wedding because people were not as "worldly" in their perceptions of people. It took a lot of self-control not to explain why Jack and I were not in a serious, committed, loving relationship in which we dance in meadows and sing The Prayer to each other every evening at sunset.

Brother was a nice enough guy. We'll call him (B)Ryan, because I know one of those was his name, but I can't remember which one. He wasn't AS chatty as sister, but he was definitely my biggest fan. After praising me to the point of me beginning to feel super awkward, he told me that my voice reminded him of Ariel's (let's be real, that actually made me so happy inside). Then he asked if Jack and I wanted him to take a picture of us and that he'd be more than happy to take one (on his disposable camera). Yeah, real smooth (B)Ryan. Trying to play it off like you're doing me a favor. We both know you have no way of sending that picture to me online...this picture is for you and you alone. But hey, that's flattering. So obviously I cheesed it up.

At the end of the evening (9 pm...) Jack and I were trying to make a discreet exit...meaning I was trying to make a discreet exit, so as to avoid the awkward "goodbye even though I blatantly don't know you at all), but such was not in my fate. Brother and sister told us it was really great to meet us, and (B)Ryan told me that if I'm ever on the west coast to look him up. No, really, look him up (this is impossible, seeing as I don't even know if his first name is Ryan or Brian, let alone know his last name). I figured he was being polite. But then he said, and I quote: "Have a great night! And hey, if you're not married by the time you're 30, give me a call, because I'm totally going to marry you."

I'm sorry, WHAT?

So I laughed, assuming he was making some kind of weird joke seeing as we DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL, to which he responded "No! I'm serious!"


"Well, gotta go!" And then we PEACED OUT.

But I mean, if I turn 30 and I'm still not married (please please no), I think I'll take him up on it. He can teach me about 35 mm film.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Four days to glory

Back to the grind. Meaning sitting at a desk accomplishing little to nothing for ten hours a day.

I'm proud that today I actually finished a project. However, this project should have realistically taken me 20 minutes. It took me 5 hours, because I spent my time doing who EVEN KNOWS WHAT. I know it involved the internet. But it's not like I have Facebook, how did I possibly waste 4 hours and 40 minutes without social networking? I cannot understand.

I've also been assigned a new project. I am literally astounded every day as I work for the Federal Government by how LITTLE work is accomplished. For instance. My new project is to organize a binder. There is a list of projects that correspond with one page descriptions in the back of the binder, and literally my only task is to figure out which projects are listed but have no description sheet. Do I have to create a description sheet for the missing projects? Nope. I have to email some other guy and it's his job to create the sheets. This task in itself is not's dumb job, but someone has to do it, and it makes sense for an intern to do it, not a Commander (which is the person who gave it to me). Here's what doesn't make sense: He told me that there was no rush, as it was a low key assignment he wouldn't need for a few weeks.


Is this real life? Do people really get paid $17 an hour to sit at their desk listening to The Little Mermaid their iPod touch while they eat fun sized kitkat bars and read Perez Hilton?

Yes. They do. I don't know what I'm going to do when school starts. Because my once excellent (albeit last-minute due to extreme laziness) work ethic is basically going to be gone forever by the end of this summer.

So as I sit here, staring at my computer, waiting for the notification on the bottom right side of my screen that says I have an email from my dad that only says "Off", signaling that the carpool is leaving and it's time for me to leave this mystical place where time stands still and youtube reigns...I'll write about my weekend.

Aka, Shannon thinks everyone needs to get married IMMEDIATELY. Turns out wedding was not quite as insane as rehearsal dinner, but I feel like this was because the only person I knew was Jack, who was sick, and who decided we would leave at 9. Aka, when my friends get married, and by friends I mean a friend who I have several mutual friends with, not a music major friend who invited no other music related people whatsoever, it's gonna be a great time.

Actually in four days, ANYTHING is gonna be a great time.

But the one thing I can comment on at this wedding (well besides the actual wedding, which was lovely and made me depressed about being 100% single, just like it's supposed to) was my table at the reception. Let's take a second to discuss the weirdest assortment of people ever. Jack, but a sick not wanting to be there so not talking much Jack. A random girl who was a Dukette with Kristy their freshman year of college, but she was there ALONE so was not so chatty, Jason's two roommates (I guy and a girl who I couldn't decide whether or not they were together) who I think might've been more sad about him moving out than happy about him getting married. We finish out this cocktail with Jason's random friend from high school who brought his sister who had just graduated HS and never been to VA. And who literally did not stop talking the entire night.

Don't get me wrong, she was very nice and if she wasn't talking, my guess is that no one would have been, because my mind was still wrecked from the weird table I was sitting at. So it was probably a good thing.

Well I just got the Off email I had so eagerly been anticipating.

To be continued.........

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Why hello Harrisonburg

So I'm back in the good old H-town for two days. Should be swell. Actually it probably will be, because Kristy Arehart is GETTING MARRIED!!!! We had el rehearsal dinner tonight and it was super fun/HILARIOUS. I've never been in a wedding...turns out it's fun.

Aka...dear friends...GET ENGAGED RIGHT NOW. I want to be in wedding asap. I actually told Sarah (Smith) via text that I think she and Road need to make it happen soon, and this is how the conversation went:

Shan: So I'm at the rehearsal for the wedding I'm singing in tomorrow...and all I can I WANT TO GET MARRIED
Sar: If I find a closet full of dresses in your apartment in ten years, we're having an intervention
Shan: Get married soon. So I can be in your wedding. Come on. You know you want to.
Sar: No! I will not rush my tenuous life plans to meet your sick sick needs!
Sar: Don't say things you can't take back
Shan: I'll chip in for your wedding dress?
Sar: No dice. Not getting married today. Or this year.
Shan: But your wedding is going to be so funnnn
Sar: Duh. With ample time to plan, SHANNON
Shan: Oh you KNOW I could make a ballin wedding happen in a hot sec
Sar: You know what? You're right. Why delay our, including your, happiness any longer. I'm going to propose to Road at the top of London Tower
Sar: False!!!!
Shan: Don't worry, I won't tell him. I'll keep it a surprise
Sar: You're a whore. Expect no such thing
Shan: I'll help you go ring shopping!

...change of subject. SO sad.

If you're reading this, and you love me, get engaged, and put me in your wedding. Because it's really fun.

So I saw The Proposal tonight. As all of you avid blog readers know, in my first post ever, I spoke of Ryan Reynolds and his beautiful soul and spirit (meaning body). Well friends, TONIGHT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. He was as magnificent as ever. And almost naked. Yes. Tina.

As we were leaving the theater, I noticed the NINE FOOT HARRY POTTER 6 CUT OUT...and obviously my first inclination was to steal it. Because even though I have no idea what I would do with a nine foot Harry Potter poster (besides revel in its glory), I of all people should be the one to steal it. And I haven't felt a high like that since we snuck into the perf center (I mean what? We never did that...).

UNFORTUNATELY EVERYONE I WAS WITH WAS BEING LAME. THAT MEANS YOU MATTY CHIDS LYNN AND JACK. There were NO EMPLOYEES out, it was LATE, NO ONE WOULD HAVE SEEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE PERFECT CRIME. But they said there were cameras and that I shouldn't do it. So I listened. And we went outside. And then I realized...screw that. I'm taking the fricken sign, even if I do it alone. Only, to my DISMAY, the doors were locked since it was late. So I couldn't get back in. Saddest of days. So now I'm SO sad Dan isn't here, because I know if he had been with me, this is how that conversation would have gone:

Shan: Omg. I want to steal that sign.
Dan: Obvi. Because that would be SO INSANELY EPIC (all caps).
Shan: No. I can't. That would be too crazy. Someone would see us.
Dan: Shannon. No one is gonna see us. And stop pretending like you're not going to steal that sign because we both know you are.
Shan: Ok. You're right. Let's do it.


I MISS DAN!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The next ten

3:48...which means it's almost time for the gym. Yes tina. I think I've exhausted my brain capacity making these charts. I'm almost done. So I'm finishing them Monday probably. I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that I spent TEN HOURS at this desk every day. That just can't be good for your health. I vaguely recall el GSci professor saying something about radiation coming from computers, so prolonged exposure to them...not okay.

I spent my lunch break online shopping, and am now going to "The Mills" (which is apparently what they're going to start calling it...THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. IT'S CALLED HOODBRIDGE. We can't have anything that sophisticated sounding) when I get home to go on a quest for a 21 bday dress. ONE WEEK ONE WEEK!

Anyway, here's the next ten reasons why I won't marry you

11. Your favorite season is winter

12. You won't watch Food Network

13. You own any clothing made of wheat

14. You hate/refuse to read Harry Potter (which is why I could never marry Road. Well that and he's dating my best friend. But mostly the no HP)

15. You mispronounce the words tissue and issue (sorry TJ)

16. You have dreadlocks

17. Your last name clashes with Shannon

18. Your last name is so dumb that it would ruin a potential child's entire life

19. You own anything that bears the confederate flag

20. You think Harrisonburg is a great place to live


It's Thursday. Which, to me, is Friday. Thank goodness.

I don't think my boss likes me very much. Well, not that he DISLIKES me, I just don't think he cares very much about me. He doesn't give me attention, except for maybe once a day when he walks by my desk. Normally this would bother me, but here's why it doesn't: This is a summer job. I have no intentions of getting promoted or relying on him for a serious reference, since this in no way relates to any of the fields I feel like pursuing. Not to say I won't work hard and get the job done--it's me. I'm going to do that. But as long as my boss has nothing NEGATIVE to say about, I don't care if he raves. I know...who am I?

But here's the thing: I have a little more freedom if I'm not constantly on his radar. Normally I'm not about being the blah girl, but I like not really being paid attention to in this case. He's not going to give me harder projects. He's going to continue to give me editting projects in which I spend my time making tables in excel. That I COULD do quickly...but I don't have to. Because for the first time in a's LOW PRESSURE. WHAT A CONCEPT.

I still hate disappointing him though...which I might've done today. We were supposed to go to this CG hearing on Capitol Hill today, but it got moved to tomorrow. And I don't work Fridays. Plus, I have to take my car to stupid All-State so that girl's insurance company can FINALLY pay for the accident damage. And then I have to go back to the burg to sing for Kristy's wedding! So I'm obviously not going to the hearing. And when I told him he was like "Well, it's your loss. You'll miss going to Capitol Hill, and Capital City Brewery..."

...but I won't have to wake up at FIVE just to sit in on a meeting and then eat at a restaurant where I'LL have to pay for okay food and no alcohol because I still have one more week (ONE MORE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). So IS it my loss? But I still felt guilty. I'm such a people pleaser.

I'm alarmed at how this blog has transfigured from being meaningless yet hilarious stories to insight on my life...and I don't think I like it. It's just that I have zero contact with the outside world, so the stories that I would normally bore a real person with have no place to go. So I guess they go in ths blog for now.

I miss the Music Library.

More later I'm sure.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

New layout

As much as I loved the old background picture, it made it impossible to read my blog. So I changed it. Enjoyyyy!

It's true...the government owns me

So this is my first of probably MANY blogs this summer. Because here's the thing about working for the Coast can't get on Gmail OR Facebook at ALL from work. Which totally blows. Luckily, I have my work email address, so I can still get emails. So ask for it and I'll send you one. :)

For now, I'm going to begin the 300 Reasons Why I Won't Marry You, as promised. But I'm going to do it in segments, to a)Take up more of my bored time, and b)300 in one post is boring to read. So you're welcome.

1. You enjoy the song "Step Into Christmas" by Elton John
2. You insist on making me eat Mexican food
3. Your favorite color is brown (and any of its varying shades)
4. You don't text
5. You don't shower
6. You're a better singer than me
7. You took me to a Dave Matthew's concert on a date
8. You have a dumb accent
9. You have a dumb mind
10. You wake me up for anything I deem unimportant at the time, yet feel no remorse

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dhall Love

I feel like my best posts happen when I'm procrastinating, so here it goes.

Also, as a side note, I am currently listening to the Dreamgirls Soundtrack. I have two questions: 1)Why is this so legitttttt, 2)Why do I not listen to this more? Probably because I over-exhausted it during Christmas Break 2006. Matthew Stephens remembers all too well.


The semester is winding down (THANK THE LORD), and while I literally cannot wait to never attend my current classes ever again, there are several things I'm sad about as the 2008-2009 school year comes to end. The first is obviously that I will not have immediate access to all of my favorite people (other than a few) for almost four whole months. So sad. :( The second is that I will have to start making my lunches and I'm not really sure what I'm going to do if I don't eat turkey american cheese bacon lettuce and honey mustard on a wheat wrap at least once a day. Most likely laziness will be the victor...aka I will consider individually packaged cheddar cheese and a yogurt "lunch". It's NOT fine. The third is the loss of the music library. This might actually be the hardest blow to take. I just have to remind myself that it's not forever, August is not that far away. Plus this gives me a whole summer to figure out how to get rid of that fricken dog.

This leads me to my fourth point...the loss of DHall Wednesdays.

Back story: I used to hate Dhall. I don't think I'll ever really be like "Dhall, omg, so delicious" because it really isn't. But over the course of this semester I have grown tolerate, fond even, of Dhall simply because of the social opportunities it has (aka basically all of JMU eats there, so you always end up seeing like 40 people you know). Two weeks ago Dan and I went on a Dhall date, and I officially became DHall Wednesday Dinner's biggest fan.

We were sitting in the middle section, probably eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch (me) and being sassy (Dan), when a 6 year old walks next to our table with a plate full of chicken nuggets and pizza.

Sorry, I just got really bored telling this story. That's probably not a good sign because I wasn't even telling it to anyone. I think I'm just going to end that story there, a)because a lot of people already know how it ends and b)people who don't now have a great opportunity to use their imaginations to end this story. I mean I have a really great set-up. In fact, even though I blatantly know how this story ends, I'm going to use my own imagination and come up with an alternative ending (chose your own adventure books anyone?).

The child approached Dan. We were both taken aback by his gleaming red eyes. I couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding.

"Excuse me sir," he said softly. "Where can I find the ketchup?"

The child was polite...too polite. Dan hesitated for a moment, but then said,

"Here, let me show you." And with that, he rose from the table and led the child to the condiments bar.

I was uneasy. My nerves were on fire and my bones tingled. My intuition was telling me that something wasn't right. What was a child doing alone at Dhall on a school night? Where were his parents? Better yet, where was his hot Big Brother (HBB, if you will)?

Then I realized...this was no child. This was something far more sinister. I knew I couldn't leave Dan alone with him. I ran as fast as I could, but the three seconds it took was not fast enough.

The condiments bar was gone, and in its place was a vast pit. I expected this to lead to the kitchens underneath Dhall, but I should have known that the world as I knew it had become a far different place.

The pit was about twenty feet in diameter, and it was outlined in a ring of fire. From the looks of it, the pit was deep...deeper than even the JMU tunnels. Dan and the child were gone.

I reacted immediately, without thought, without consideration of the consequences. I only knew of my undying love for Daniel Clyde Snyder, so I did what made sense...I ran to the pit...and jumped.

The fall took longer than I thought it would. It was deeper than I had anticipated. After I landed, I realized that I was not only still alive, but I was in no pain. This didn't make sense...until I realized what I landed on. It was soft and leafy. This seemed so familiar to me. It was only when the vines began to wrap themselves around my body that I knew what it was...a Devil's Snare!

I had always known my unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter would come in handy, but I never thought I would be able to put it to practical use. I of course knew the only way out of this mess was through fire (thanks Hermione), but even in this alternate world, I was merely a human with no magical powers and no wand. I began to panic...and then I heard voices.

I looked far to my right, and I realized I was not alone. There at the bottom of the pit were Joe Scott, my brother Jacob...and John Stamos. Before I could say anything, Jacob threw something to me, a grill lighter.

"What is this?" I yelled in a strained voice, as the vines were beginning to close around my throat.

"It's the lighter I used to burn our house down!" he called back.

"But Jacob, that was over twelve years ago!"

"I kept it as a memento!"

I realized that this conversation was trivial and that we could continue it after I rescued myself. I grabbed the lighter, held the safety, and pulled the trigger. A giant ball of fire came out of the end like a flame thrower, and the Devil's Snare immediately released me.

I ran over to Jacob, Joe, and John, gasping for breath and examining myself. I was bleeding pretty profusely all over my arms and legs, and I began to feel lightheaded.

"Sit down, let me help you, I'm a doctor!" cried John Stamos.

"No you're just pretended to be one on ER, and everyone knows that show got cancelled," I said.

John Stamos slapped me. Before I could get angry, he yelled,

"We don't have time for pettiness woman! You have a responsibility, you must complete the task ahead!" He then quickly (and effectively) bandaged my wounds with the first aid kit conveniently hung on the wall of the pit.

I stood and shook his hand.

"Never again will I doubt you John Stamos! Now I must be off! I have a tall blond man to save!"

"I'm coming with you!" cried Joe, who, after two complete decades on earth, had never been more prepared to fight.

"I've fought panther warriors before, and I will help you find Dan!"

And with that, we were off. We ran down the tunnel at the bottom of the pit for what felt like miles until we came to a door. I pressed my ear up against it, and I could faintly hear a child’s laugh…it was not a pleasant sound.

“Look, a keyhole,” Joe whispered. “Look through it, is Dan in there?”

Taking his advice, I pressed my eye to the small hole just above the doorknob. Sure enough, there was Dan, with the demon child hovering by his side. Dan was unconscious, but he was still breathing. There was still hope.

I looked at Joe.

“I’m going in. Also, Happy Birthday.”

With tears glistening in his small asian eyes, he smiled and said,

“Thanks Shan. And good luck.”

I took a breath, opened the door…


Monday, April 27, 2009

Shan and Dan's day of glor(ious resurrection)y.

So it's been a while. You might think this is because I haven't really felt inspired to write about anything in particular. If you do think this, you obviously did not get to see Opera Scenes's "All that Jazz".

No friends, it's been laziness that's caused me to abandon the disco, but don't fret, I haven't left forever. Stay tuned for future posts, including the highly anticipated "300 Reasons why I won't marry you".

Today I truly witnessed a miracle. Well two, if you count me actually getting even tanner than I already was. Double fist pump.

It started out like any other day...well I guess that's not true, because I actually went to Ethnomusicology. But in my defense, it was only because we had a test, and I didn't study for it. Don't worry, I'm still me. Slowly but surely I realized this would truly be a day of glory. For instance, I finished (and ended up getting an 80 on) my ethno test in a record 15 minutes, and due to my outstanding time, Sarah rewarded me with an Apple Fritter. I then proceeded to Opera History, in which I made my weekly to-do list (like usual) and made obscene comments with Sarah Davis. But what was unique about today's Opera History was that I actually semi-paid attention. This was due to the fact that we listened to Porgy and Bess, which is sort of Music Theater, therefore I sort of paid attention. Now I'll be able to answer the one (if any) question on the final about P&B (no J...heh heh heh) with FULL CONFIDENCE.

Glory continued in Visual Aspects, meaning we didn't really have Visual Aspects, which is always a cause for celebration. She gave us handouts and then we filled out evaluations. Three minutes...a new record. I was out of there by 11:33...17 minute class? Yes please. I then essentially ran to my car, because the TRUE glory lay ahead...NO HEALTH AND THEREFORE A FULL DAY OF COPPER BEECH POOL GOODNESS.

I convinced Dan to skip his class (it took a lot of convincing), and we met Evie at CB fresh prepared to get our biddie on. Operation Pocahontas had commenced. After we felt sufficiently baked (not high, to clarify... ....that rhymes) we got in the pool, which is where we spent literally the next three hours. Now at first I was alarmed at the amount of dead bugs in the pool. The most concerning of these was a giant dead hornet. After about an hour of splashing it away, Dan finally just scooped it out onto the side of the pool.

I'm sure at this point you're wondering why my story is so long, yet so lame. Because let's be honest, up until this point, I've basically just over-elaborated something that could be summarized in one sentence: I went to class, then went to the pool, and it was neat.
The reason I didn't do this is threefold:
1. This is a blog; I'm supposed to ramble on about things no one cares about.
2. I've had excellent English teachers (except maybe my Sophomore year of high school...Miss Jarvis...she was literally a biddie) who have taught me to appreciate the art of the English language, and I would be doing them a disservice by not sharing that with the world. This blog has the same elevated language, yet far more substance than The Red Badge of Courage...although I don't see any AP English 11 kids reading THIS for a's fine.
3. The title of this blog has RESURRECTION in it. Obviously this is going somewhere epic.

About a half hour goes by. For some reason, our eyes are drawn to the bee at the same time. THIS IS BECAUSE THE BEE MOVED. I am incredulous, because that bee had to have been in the CHLORINE ABYSS for at least an hour, and probably a lot longer than that. We both stare as the bee continues not only to move, but to get up on all 6 of its (apparently) INVINCIBLE legs and begin to flap its wings. I would like to point out that this bee was DEFINITELY not alive in the water. It didn't move once, and it took a good half hour for it to move once on dry land. So the fact that not only was this bee still alive but GETTING BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS basically blew my mind. We stared at said bee for probably five straight minutes, then watched as it gathered its strength and eventually FLEW AWAY.



Note: I later discovered that unlike with humans, when you drown a bee, the bee doesn't always die, sometimes it just goes unconscious (thanks I do not feel like this actually takes away from the epicness of the story however, because the bee drowned in a pool full of chemicals, and is probably now some crazy mutant, like X-Bees. Luckily when the X-Bees decide to fight back against the human race, Dan and I will probably be set free (an eye for an eye is bee philosophy after all). Everyone to be you.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

For someone with excellent time management skills, I certainly do not put them to use

I'm basically an idiot. While this applies to many areas of my life, for today I choose to focus in on my time management skills. As a general rule, I waste a LOT of time doing things that have little to no value and that are detrimental to my success in life. For example, I am currently writing this blog, even though I have yet to start my four page Opera History paper OR my take home test that's due tomorrow.

Let's evaluate how I spent yesterday:
7:45 My alarm goes off. I decide at this sleep induced moment that I'm going to screw studying for my midterm and sleep more, seeing as I was up until 1 the night before stalkbooking and am therefore very tired still.
8:45 Another alarm goes off. I decide I don't need to straighten my hair today...more sleep
9:15 Another alarm goes off. I finally decide to get out of bed and begin my day, but only because it's preview day and I have to look fresh-to-death (def, if you will). Since I have a midterm, I plan on being ready to go and leaving by 9:40.
9:40 Get out of the shower. Evaluate Evie's outfit. Facebook. Eventually dry my hair and put on make-up.
10:00 Leave for my 10:10 Midterm
10:10 Fail my Midterm
11:15 Waste away in quite possibly the most boring Visual Aspects class of the semester
12:05 Facebook in the Music Library
12:20 Decide to skip lunch and area recital in exchange for adventuring with Sarah, Joe, and Allison. Adventures include sitting in rocking chairs in Martin's for a half hour and buying a lot of Chick-fil-a.
2-5:30pm Sit on the Quad. Skip Health. They talked about contraceptives. No great loss.
5:30 Get Josh to take me home to get my car even though I have to somehow get back and be parked by 6. This plan is unsuccessful, as Josh's car has been towed.
6:00 Am on time to Opera Scenes, but car-less
7:20 Leave for Otterbein, which begins at 7:15
8:25 Spend 15 minutes laughing at Martha's sweatshirt
8:40 Leave for Jack's rehearsal
9:00-10:00 Run a 3 minute song about 6 times...this should have only taken 25 minutes max.
10:15 Get home, make a nutritious dinner of popcorn, brownies, and sour patch kids
10:30-11 Analyze a map of the United States in preparation for my road summer.
11-12 ...I'm not even sure. All I know is that I finally got in bed at midnight.

In conclusion, over the course of an entire day, the only things I actually accomplished that I NEEDED to accomplish were a test and three rehearsals.

You would think that this knowledge would cause me to reassess my priorities and get my life in order, but instead, I continue to write this blog. In about 10 minutes I plan on making a nice, relaxing brunch, watching TV, and waiting for my laundry to finish drying.

I still have those papers to write, so I think I'll do them after Chorale. Or maybe I'll blog again instead.

Monday, March 16, 2009

What's with this blogging fad?

I figured I should probably jump on this bandwagon early, before everyone else started making blogs therefore rendering this a lame pastime. Let the record show that Sarah and I stole this idea from Allison, rendering us second generation bloggers. Anyone else who creates a blog is just following in our example. I feel like reading this blog will entertain people. Who wouldn't want to waste their time getting inside this brain, trying to figure out its inner workings? And a lot of strange things happen to me and I feel like this is a good venue to share these things with the world. Lord knows I can't put them in a Facebook note (the epitome of lameness).

So I had maybe one of the most disturbing Health classes of all time today. I had an overwhelming urge to skip (meaning I would have only attended one out of four classes today...typical), but this urge was squelched by my dear friend and fellow classmate Laura, who reminded me that we would be skipping next Monday for stupid Chorale so we should go today. This is the last time I take advice from her, seeing as the topic of todays class was Human Sexual Anatomy. It began innocently enough, with ambiguous slides about sexual orientation and hermaphrodites. However, things quickly escalated and culminated in a picture of a man massaging his balls (checking for cancer, APPARENTLY), which was followed by my teacher rendering a VERY detailed drawing of a vagina (said drawing included legs and pubic hair...yikes). Needless to say, I was very relieved when I looked at my phone and saw that it was 3:31, because I had to leave early to catch the bus (ICS II, just in case you were wondering). Laura was left to stay until class was over at 3:45. Karma.

I'm currently sitting in my home away from home, the music library. This is quite possibly one of my most favorite places to be, due to the overwhelming amount of social activity it holds. People come here and pretend to do work, but really they just waste time talking to each other, facebooking, creating blogs, and getting yelled at by the super mean dog lady. In fact, Meghan just commented on the fact that currently, this is what we're doing: I'm blogging, Rachel is looking at pictures of Ryan Reynolds (more on that later) and searching for Sarah Smith, and Meghan is in fact just watching us do both of these things, despite the fact that there are many empty computers in the room.
Ryan Reynolds is quite literally the closest thing to heaven on this earth. Man is BANGIN'. I always knew this to be fact, but as I looked at the pictures Rachel was browsing, I was reminded again. How could I have ever forgotten?

Unfortunately, Ryan is married to Scarlet Johansson. WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?! I still remember when she was in Home Alone 3. Girlfriend was NOT CUTE. Plus, she played a home wrecker in "He's Just Not That Into You", and so I will always see her in an unfavorable light (seeing as that movie is the embodiment of truth). 

I need to stop writing soon, because I need to mentally prepare for Opera Scenes. Not in the way you might assume; this is quite possibly the dumbest class in existence. It causes me physical anger knowing how my time is about to spent. Why, you might ask, am I taking this class? Graduation friends. It looms, ever-present, and I plan on doing it on time (that's what she said).

Until next time,