Thursday, February 7, 2013


I miss sunshine.

I'm having a blue kind of day. It's cold and gray outside, I miss my friends, and I'm feeling frustrated and down in the dumps. All I want to do is curl up in my bed and read Game of Thrones, but I have crap all day until late tonight. Sure, there are things in my life that could lead me to feel this way, but I realized that a lot of life's frustrations are a lot easier to deal with when we're getting a healthy dose of Vitamin D, and my life is not exempt from this. When I think about it, this "rut" happens to me around the same time every year for one reason or another. For instance, this emo post which I wrote about a year ago. This yearly depression has inspired the following post:

SHANNON'S RANKING OF THE MONTHS OF THE YEAR: Why Seasonal Affective Disorder is the worst thing in the entire world.

This ranking has been around for a long time, because one of my favorite pastimes is to irrationally rant. So some of you have heard some of this spiel before, and get to enjoy reading it again.

In order from best month to worst:

1. June: I feel like this month needs no elaboration, but I'll do it anyway. First of all, it SOUNDS pretty. June. What a beautiful word! Secondly, the beginning of summer officially begins in the month of June. If you have anything disparaging to say about summer, SAVE IT. It is the greatest season. It's warm, you can wear shorts, you can go to the beach, you can barbecue things and drink Corona and be tan and DO I REALLY NEED TO KEEP GOING? Besides, for all you babies who hate the heat, June is usually pretty reasonable, so quit your whining. Also, growing up, June was finally the beginning of freedom from the clutches of school, and is there really a greater joy than that? And last but CERTAINLY not least, the 26th day of this fine month marks a miraculous day for humanity...the day God choose to grace his beautiful Earth with the one and only Shannon Kingett.

2. December: Ironically a cold month makes the top 3! But Christmas time trumps everything. Besides, December is always apt to FLY by, and that's the way all winter months SHOULD work.

3. August: This is honestly a toss up with #4, but August edged out July because this is generally when my family goes on vacation. Also, Shark Week!

4. July: If you don't love Fourth of July, feel free to leave this country forever.

5. May: Ugh, I love May. Mother's Day, it's finally warm and not rainy/windy, Memorial Day rules, etc, etc. CAN IT JUST BE MAY NOW?

6. April: Finally. SPRING HAS ARRIVED. It may have brought rain, wind, bizarre weather, and seasonal allergies, but dang it, it's HERE. Bring on the sundresses! Pull out those wedges! Pour me a mint julep because it's time to PARTY!

7. September: It's got that fall feel to it, but is still 75 degrees every day. And what a good time to satisfy your boots and tights urge! The only reason April outranks September is because despite the fact that September actually has better weather, September is the gateway to winter, whereas April is the gateway to summer. And just like how paper covers rock, summer beats winter. And unlike how rock crushes scissors, WINTER BEATS NOTHING.

8. November: And now friends, we get dangerously close to winter. Yet November's saving grace is the famous day of feasting: Thanksgiving. AND it marks the beginning of the Christmas season. November may be the beginning of the end, but at least it has some major upsides.

9. October: Seriously, this is a waste of a month. Post summer depression starts to set in, and if the only good thing about this month is Halloween (which, I'd like to point out, you have to sit through the entire month to get to), LAME. Screw boots and tights, I miss flip flops.

10. March: Here's the thing about March. You might be like "Shannon, how is March almost at the bottom of the list, this is when Spring officially begins! And if Spring is the gateway to summer, shouldn't March outrank at least October and November?" Well the answer to that question is a resounding NEVER. March is a sneaky little jerk that pretends to be Spring but is really just a horrible extension of winter. By the time you get to March you are SO OVER IT, yet there it stands, 31 more days of unrelenting torture. Even when the weather IS nice, it just sheds light on the bareness of the trees and the hideousness winter has left behind. Get out of here March, I have no use for you.

11. & 12. January and February: I honestly cannot decide which is worse. You have January, which involves Post-Christmas depression, the true onset of winter, and is longer, but on the other hand, there's just something about February that I despise. By the time January is over you're like "Ok that's enough, I've survived, can it be spring now?" But no, no it can't, because you have ANOTHER month of crap. And for a month with only 28 days, February is the slowest moving month of all time. For instance, how is today only February 7th? HOW IS THIS MONTH NOT CLOSE TO OVER YET? SUN WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?

My feelings exactly.