Monday, November 29, 2010

Creepy Makeout Boy

I was at dinner over the holiday with Sar, Ash, and TJ, and the subject of Creepy Makeout Boy came up. I hadn't thought about him in AGES, and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought to blog about him yet.

So I give you...the story of creepy make out boy.

A little over four years ago, my best friend Joe decided to come visit me at JMU (he was a HS Senior at the time), and he brought our friend Vanessa who was a freshman at GWU. I was stoked because no one had come to visit me at school yet and I was excited for them to meet my new JMU friends and see what my life was like, blah blah blah. As a JMU student, I knew it was imperative that I show them what JMU nightlife was like (looking back I feel like I did an excellent job the first night, and a TERRIBLE job the second night). Friday was easy because it was Project's Fall Show, aka we just went to Project House, but Saturday was more complicated.

One of my music major friends had told me to go to The Mill for some band party (MISTAKE), and since I knew of nothing else happening, that's exactly what we decided to do. Now since I was a freshman, these were the days of riding the Drunk Bus every weekend. (NOTE: You do not have to be drunk or have had any alcohol to ride the drunk bus, that's literally just what the late night weekend bus is called at JMU.) Other than walking, it was pretty much my means of transportation as I had no car, didn't have money for cabs, and didn't know enough upperclassmen yet to get rides. So the three of us ventured out of my dorm around 11:30pm to go wait for the bus. When we got there, we were the only ones at the first.

A few minutes later, two guys showed up. In a fit of horror, I recognized one of them. He was a freshman vocalist, and was in a bunch of my classes. This kid was already INFAMOUS in School of Music for being slightly strange. In fact no one knew his real name because he had two first names that he interchanged, Wesley Jared and Jared Wesley (last name is censored, sorry friends). He would introduce himself as either one of these names, so we never knew which it really was. Much to my dismay, they immediately came up to us and Wesley Jared said "Hey, you're in my diction class!" to which I replied "Yep."

He then proceeded to introduce us to his suitemate, the other guy with him, who certainly seemed more normal but still with a hint of awkward. I then had to introduce Joe and Vanessa so not to be insanely rude, but this ended up being a HUGE mistake as Jared Wesley took this as a sign of our inevitable marriage. He would not leave me alone. He asked us where we were going and I simply said "To some party." I should have known that no matter what I said he was going to follow us. Which is exactly what he did. At this point I had given up being polite because I wanted him to get the hint that I had no interest in him whatsoever, and so this meant that I completely ignored any attempt at communication and when he followed us off the bus we walked in two VERY distinct "groups."

I spent the entire party hiding from WJ. Everytime I tried to go dance he would try to dance with me so I had to force Joe to act as my barrier. It was the worst.

Finally it was time to leave. We were fairly certain WJ didn't see us getting ready to go so Joe and I tried to leave quickly and stealthily...but Vanessa pretty much ruined all hope. For some inexplicable reason, she "befriended" WJ's friend during the party and they were TOGETHER...meaning WJ FOUND US. DFUIHDUIHFUIDHF

Also when we got to the party the weather was fine, but when we left it had started to drizzle. So our "crew of 5" (UGH) walked from The Mill to the bus stop because we didn't feel like standing in the rain in November. If you've never been there, the bus stop is right on the side of the road without one of those covered bench things, but luckily there's a 7-11 close by. By the time we got to the bus stop it was pouring, and we had no idea when the next bus was coming. Joe and I immediately decided to go wait under the cover of the 7-11, which we announced to the group and walked away. We assumed everyone would follow us, but when we got there, only WesleyJared-JaredWesley was with us (theme of the night). We looked over at the bus stop, and there was Vanessa and suitemate, HARDCORE making out. It was not okay.

WesJared looks at me and goes "They're making YOU wanna make out?"


In my head, I'm pretty sure I was screaming "IS THIS REAL LIFE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME WHO EVEN SAYS THAT?!" What I actually said was "WAH NO!" (not really any more tactful than the sentence in my head)

His response was a very simple "Awww maaaaaaan!" (I still can't remember this without laughing out loud)

And thus Creepy Makeout Boy was born. CMB then decided to go into the 7-11 to get some snacks (??) but the bus came while he was in there. Joe ran in to tell him we had to go, but he never made it onto the bus. Three stops later, in a completely different part of Harrisonburg...CREEPY MAKEOUT BOY GETS ON THE BUS. We were all stunned if not terrified at how he had managed to accomplish this (I still never found out). He sat down with us (of course) grumpily, and said "Way to leave me behind guys." I don't think I could even utter words because I was still so stunned at his random appearance. I did manage to get my senses back in time to take this proof of the insanity (CMB is obviously the one on the left):

And then I took this picture to capture the mood of the night:

(side note, on FB, the caption for this picture is LGH! ...remember when we used to say that?)

To this DAY I get texts from people telling me when they see CMB. People UNIVERSALLY began to refer to him as Creepy Makeout Boy, just because of this story. As the year went on he got even more bizarre. One time he showed up for our Diction Final 45 minutes a tuxedo. Here's to you Creepy Makeout's to you.

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