Monday, March 15, 2010

A Spring Break Anecdote

I come here tonight to tell you a true life tale of horror and astonishment. Well actually I'm here because I woke up twelve hours ago so I'm not really tired yet and I'm hoping this pushes me over the edge considering I have to wake up in five hours for work. Woooooooof.

So on Weds Dan and I drove from Daytona to Melbourne to hang out with the lovely Ali Hoxie and her bff Mel for the day. As in our typical fashion, the day consisted of laying on the beach potentially getting cancer and eating chips. Then we went to this restaurant and ate MORE food and took full advantage of the beach bar which allowed us to bring our daiqs onto the beach...perfection. But all this was to come to a bitter, bitter (hilarious) end.

I'm choosing to relate this theatrically.

A group of attractive, tan JMU students are lying on the beach, minding their own business. A crazed townie approaches. He notices that two of the ladies have Strawberry Daiquiris

Crazy: Y'all drinkin' too? Just layin' on the beach drinkin'? Me and my buddies are too!

The group of students politely smile, hoping this is all some sort of horrible nightmare that they will soon awaken from.

Crazy: Y'all on Spring Break? Where y'all from?
Shannon: Virginia.
Crazy: Really? Ole' Virginie? I hear they got good huntin' up there. I love huntin'. Where in Virginia?
Shannon: About two hours from DC.
Crazy: Oh, Houston?
Dan:, Washington D.C.?
Crazy: HAHAHAHAHA, I don't actually know where that is!

The students stare in stunned silence.

Crazy: So did you all get those drinks at the bar over there? Just drinkin' on the beach, I like that, I like that! I mostly like to drink in the woods though.

The silence continues.

Crazy: I'm from St. Cloud, y'all know where that is?
Shannon: Noooope.
Crazy: Well it's this small town. Next to this Puerto Rican town though. They got all these n****rs, like the Haitians from Africa.

The silence goes from stunned to appalled and astounded. Crazy continues to ramble on with many a racial slur, until Shannon finally moves past the shock and absorbs what she has been listening to.

Shannon: Wait...did you say Haitians...from AFRICA?
Crazy: Yeah I don't really know where that n****r country is. It's just poor and stuff, hahahahaha!
Shannon:'s in Central America.
Crazy: Man I don't even know! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The students begin to pray for any kind of intervention.

Crazy: So you all stayin' in a motel or somethin'?
Shannon: We're staying with friends.
Ali: I'm staying with my brother.
Crazy: Oh, y'all got kinfolk down here? Alright, alright.

The silence continues, now mostly because none of the students have ever heard anyone actually use the word kinfolk in a non-mocking setting. Crazy, finally sensing that there is a disconnect, prepares to rejoin his band of townie brothers.

Crazy: Well I'll let you all get back to your drinkin' and tannin'.

Mel, meanwhile, has been completely ignoring the conversation, probably just hoping for it all to go away, by laying on her towel not making eye contact with Crazy.

Crazy: Well, except this girl, she's WHITE!

Mel finally looks at crazy. Her eyes are full of wrath and pure disdain.

Crazy: HAHAHAHAHA well y'all have fun, feel free to come say hi!

The students soon thereafter packed their towels and left, forever altered by the experience.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

JMU Bucket List Update

Hi friends.

Btw, just gave some thought to the title/web address of this blog. SO dumb. I love it. I hope people think I was trying to be really deep when I made it up (because I was...duh).

Anyway. So here's where I stand in terms of the goals I set a few posts ago.

Turned in my graduation application
Had a ridiculous Spring Break

Semi-Accomplished/In progress:
Found one of my two recital dresses
Ate at Cuchi Guidos. One down...a bunch to go. Woof.
I'm finally experiencing Kline's Mint Chocolate Chip tomorrow with Ash. YES.

New Additions:
A plan involving Wilson Hall. Can't elaborate. Should be magnificent.

Hopefully there will be more additions and accomplishments soon. EIGHT WEEKS LEFT!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Hello from Daytonaaaa

Hola amigos! I come to you LIVE from Daytona Beach, FL! SPRINGBREAKS2010!

Ok enough obnoxiousness. Anyway, Dan and I drove to Richmond first on Friday morning because I had to compete at Nats (Second place...tight). Good times abounding, saw lots of kids I haven't in a while, hung out with JMU kids, yayyyyy! Then we went to Fburg to see the love of my life, aka Nicole. Ridiculousness OBVIOUSLY ensued, including but not limited to: a vomiting parrot, free vino in MULTIPLE locations, purple doritos, and competing with 50 year old double daters for attention. The night ended with Dan passed out in the bathroom...success.

So yesterday we drove to Daytona, it only took like 11 hours AND it included a trip to Friendly's...hollaaaaa! By the last hour we were both like AHHHHHHHHH and Dan may or may not have sent texts from my phone for "fun". But we finally got to Nina's and it is wonderfullll. AND FLORIDA IS WARMMMMM(er than VA). Last night was RIDICULOUS. No but seriously. Landmines, breaking and entering, missing tooth, sexual harassment, McDonald's. Tight. Again...success.

Today consisted of beach and cooking, aka could life get any better? The answer is probably not. But maybe I'll win the lottery tonight.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Just a little longer...

I have now been procrastinating for thirteen hours. At least I can attribute twelve of those hours to sleep. Because yes friends, I was out by nine thirty. A part of me is deeply ashamed, but I'm mostly just mad impressed with myself. I got crap sleep all weekend and DEFINITELY got crap sleep on Sunday and Monday nights. So I was totally due. We got out of rehearsal SUPER early so I was really excited because I had these big plans of finally cleaning my entire room (which is literally the most daunting task of all time), cleaning the kitchen, writing my midterm for Dr. Warner's class...and then my bed took full control over me. Seriously I'm obsessed with my bed, but it can definitely be a dirty whore sometimes. It's so warm, comforting, and inviting! Once you've had a taste you basically can't say no to its seductive will. So I decided I would "take a nap" from 9:30-11. Yeah, nice try idiot. I obviously woke up to my alarm at 11, answered a few texts, and then was like noooooope goodnight! The next thing I's 9:30 am. Effff. My room still is out of control, I have an entire midterm to write, SO much laundry and packing to do, a lesson AND Nats to prepare, and DISHESSSSS. Tonight, I can do all the cleaning crap tonight. I'm going to keep telling myself that. It makes me feel better. This morning is going to be devoted to Dr. Warner, Food Network, and breakfast.

...and my bed, which I still haven't gotten out of.