I think I may have reached the epitome of boredom

I just spent the last hour google-mapping all of my old homes/schools/churches. Which there are a lot of. I was actually amazed at how many addresses I remembered. For instance, from age 1-6 I lived at 110 Sheridan Dr. in Cape May, NJ. Why do I remember things like this? A 6 year old doesn't even need to know their address at the time, let alone 15 years later.

I couldn't remember all of my addresses, particularly for the houses a year after the fire (aka 4th and 5th grade, because I lived in three different houses in two years). Like I knew I lived at 131 something Marshfield, MA, but I couldn't remember the name of the road. So I stunned myself again by google mapping a church I DIDN'T EVEN ATTEND and then visually remembering the drive home from said church. So I followed the roads that would have made that and I found my house. On Valley Path. Seriously, my brain is weird. And I really love maps.

I also Google Mapped Grand Isle, Louisiana, which is where I spent the first year of my life (even though I obviously don't remember it) because I wanted to see where I was born. Turns out, that place BLOWS. Granted, a lot of it could have been destroyed during Hurricane Katrina (it's below New Orleans)...but based on what Madre's told me, it blew before that. Good thing I only lived there a year.

This got me thinking about schools I attended as a wee young lass, and I decided to look up my elementary school. Other than HS, its the only place I spent longer than two years at, and I actually still remember all my teachers/all the weird stuff they had us do because it was a Catholic School. Like the Christmas Pageant the First Grade puts on every year (I was HEAD Angel, which is pretty much the best part in the whole pageant, because the angels got to do a ballet dance to Silent Night, and since I was head Angel, I got to be a reader..."A is for Angel. And the heavenly hosts sang 'Peace on Earth, and good will towards men.'" Only 25 other kids in the whole first grade got to read, and none of them got to dance. My part=best part). I was really sad we had to move before 5th grade, because the fifth grade got to do Stations of the Cross, and all the girls wanted to be Mary, because she got to sing a whole song by herself. I wonder if I would've gotten to be Mary. Probably not, because my music teacher didn't think I was a good singer. Or she would have put me in the special choir for the school's Spring Music Program, which she didn't. WELL CHECK ME OUT NOW!!

We did all kinds of weird things at this elementary school. For instance, in the fourth grade, they thought it would be a cool idea if once a month, a grade presented a song for the rest of the school via the TV announcements. Meaning some church hymn. And I don't mean sing...I mean PRESENT. Yes, it's true...I used to know choreographed hand motions to "On Eagle's Wing's." It's fine.

So I looked through the faculty to see if my teachers were still there. I don't even remember my 2nd and 3rd grade teachers because they were nuns so we didn't fear them, so who knows if they're still there. But my first and fourth grade teachers are STILL THERE. THEY HAVE TO BE 80 YEARS OLD BY NOW!!! In 4th grade I had Sister Lorraine. She wasn't that scary, actually. She was kind of like your grandma...usually really nice to you, but she'll yell at you for acting like an idiot.

But in first grade...and I do not exaggerate...I had the scariest teacher in the WHOLE SCHOOL. Sister Jacqueline. She was old and mean but man did I learn a lot. And she taught me to fear teachers until the day I die. She was probably the most feared person in that building...and she taught the FIRST GRADE. When I moved to MA as a 6 year old I basically had no knowledge of any subject, because I went to "feel good kindergarten" where my only two memories are of a bear that each kid would take home and have their parents write in a journal about, and of a kid who stapled his hand in class. No learning. Luckily I knew how to read really well because my parents rock. I still remember the first day of first grade though...all the kinds knew crap about vowel sounds and phonics, and I was like "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!" Plus, I spent all day with the scariest woman of all time and I didn't want her to know that I was stupid. So if you ever wondered why I am the way I am when it comes to school and learning about things...blame her.

Her most terrifying moment, although looking back her most HILARIOUS moment, happened in the winter. We were all chillin, I think making some kind of arts and crafts, minding our own 6 year old business...when Sr. J goes "What is that SMELL?" Obviously the class went silent. And I distinctly remember thinking "what smell?" And she walks around the room, and stops in front of this one girl, and this girl looks SCARED OUT OF HER MIND, and Sr. J goes "What. Did. You. Do...why didn't you ask to use the bathroom?!" and the girl couldn't even answer because she was so scared. So Sr. J, without another word, walks her out into the hallway to the nurse's office, because said little girl PEED HERSELF. Turns out she was too afraid to ask to go to the bathroom.

AND SR. J KNEW. And this is why, later, when we were no longer fourth graders and realized she actually wasn't that scary, we still revered her. Because she had the nose of a bloodhound and the tenacity of a mighty warrior...plus, she was a nun. So she had GOD on her side. I would totally go back and visit her if I could. Although I might be too afraid to speak.