Awkward table continued

Back at work. I wish I could fall asleep with my eyes open. That would probably make this go by faster.

Anyway. Back to la wedding. So my good friends, brother and sister (can't remember their names), were extremely chatty. At one point in the conversation, sister asked ex-dukette if she had any advice for a HS Senior about to enter college.

I looked around, incredulous. Was this Summer Springboard part dos? But sadly, no one else at my table shared my intrigue. Also, I was stunned because they had brought a DISPOSABLE CAMERA to this wedding. They even said they purchased it specifically for this event. I mean who knows, maybe their digital camera broke...but my intuition is telling me that I'm setting my thoughts too high. I don't even think I remember how to get film developed. If I want hard copies of my pictures, I upload them to Walmart.com, like every other self-respecting American.

Out of the many things we (they) discussed, a popular topic was how good Jack and I were at singing. This was actually one of the most popular topics of the entire evening, and not just from our table. It was second only to the actual celebration of matrimony itself.

A random man who I do not know just walked up to me and told me to let him know when we're ready to take over the world.

WHERE AM I?!

Also, at least 6 different people asked if Jack and I were married. The first time someone asked me this I actually laughed in their face, but then realized this was incredibly rude and politely told them no. Clearly we were at a Southern wedding because people were not as "worldly" in their perceptions of people. It took a lot of self-control not to explain why Jack and I were not in a serious, committed, loving relationship in which we dance in meadows and sing The Prayer to each other every evening at sunset.

Brother was a nice enough guy. We'll call him (B)Ryan, because I know one of those was his name, but I can't remember which one. He wasn't AS chatty as sister, but he was definitely my biggest fan. After praising me to the point of me beginning to feel super awkward, he told me that my voice reminded him of Ariel's (let's be real, that actually made me so happy inside). Then he asked if Jack and I wanted him to take a picture of us and that he'd be more than happy to take one (on his disposable camera). Yeah, real smooth (B)Ryan. Trying to play it off like you're doing me a favor. We both know you have no way of sending that picture to me online...this picture is for you and you alone. But hey, that's flattering. So obviously I cheesed it up.

At the end of the evening (9 pm...) Jack and I were trying to make a discreet exit...meaning I was trying to make a discreet exit, so as to avoid the awkward "goodbye even though I blatantly don't know you at all), but such was not in my fate. Brother and sister told us it was really great to meet us, and (B)Ryan told me that if I'm ever on the west coast to look him up. No, really, look him up (this is impossible, seeing as I don't even know if his first name is Ryan or Brian, let alone know his last name). I figured he was being polite. But then he said, and I quote: "Have a great night! And hey, if you're not married by the time you're 30, give me a call, because I'm totally going to marry you."

I'm sorry, WHAT?

So I laughed, assuming he was making some kind of weird joke seeing as we DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL, to which he responded "No! I'm serious!"

..................................................................................

"Well, gotta go!" And then we PEACED OUT.

But I mean, if I turn 30 and I'm still not married (please please no), I think I'll take him up on it. He can teach me about 35 mm film.