Nostalgia

I am so bad with change. Sometimes I like to try and convince myself that as I've gotten older, I've gotten better at dealing with change, but I think I've actually only gotten better at lying to myself about it.

I've been sad and weepy all morning, which is pretty pathetic because my show is not actually over yet. I wish I was not one of those people who preemptively anticipates the end, but I so am. It's dumb. So I've spent this entire morning in a lethargic state trying to get stuff done for work and occasionally FBing.

The biggest problem is whenever I get like this, I start to get nostalgic about everything, including things I have long forgotten about or felt sadness over.

For instance, I was looking at the FB of someone I went to high school with (not even someone I was actually good friends with), and I noticed that she had posted pictures of her classroom for the upcoming school year...guess she went to school to become a HS Math teacher. But while I was looking at these classroom pictures (why?! WHY DID I EVEN LOOK AT THEM I COULD NOT CARE LESS), I started to think about when I used to sit in a classroom like that, you know, SEVEN YEARS AGO...

AND I GOT TEARY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I do not miss high school for one second. I CERTAINLY do not miss high school MATH for one second. Yet here I am, weepy at my desk...the desk I'm given because I have a GROWN PERSON JOB...over a distant acquaintance's math classroom.

I know it's misplaced sadness. I'm like this every time something good comes to an end. The last week of my Senior Year at JMU you basically couldn't be around me. I had a complete meltdown (sorry Dan) because some of my friends didn't show up to a scavenger hunt I planned...girlfriend was pretty nutso.

It breaks my heart to know that in less than a week this will all be over. I have a whole slew of things to focus on once I'm done, and sure, it will be nice to have a normal sleeping pattern again, not to mention a social life, but it doesn't change the fact that this has easily made the top 5 of greatest and most life changing experiences I have ever had, and it's incredibly sad to see it end.

Normally I would elaborate and get all mushy...but it's lunch time and let's be real...I may be sad but I'm also starving. Plus I don't think drawing out details of the depression-state is going to help me get out of it.

But maybe carbs will.