Sarah Davis wins today

I just am going to post a chat between Sarah Davis and myself...too amazing to not share with the world:

me: i am seriously so bored
Sarah: a duck just chased me through my apartment parking lot
me: ............
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sarah: i parked, got out of the car, grabbed the bag of trash next to me, and brought it to the dumpster
and when i got back to my car, there was a fucking DUCK sitting on the drivers seat
and i SCREAM and FREAK OUT and the duck freaks out and jumps out and starts CHASING ME AROUND THE PARKING LOT
i was crying i was laughing so hard
but it wouldn't let me near my car
and so i had to ask a grown adult man with a child "Do you know how to get rid of ducks?" and he says "Sure!"
and proceeds to scream and stamp his feet running AT the duck
it was amazing
i wish so hard that i had a video camera
my stomach hurts from laughing so hard
me: HAHAHAHAHA
this is not a real story
this is too glorious to be a real story
Sarah: it so is. i am so proud of it.
a duck climbed in my car
and it had orange feet and a purple head
also
i have proof
because i accidentally called myself and left myself a 3 minute long voicemail
and you can hear me scream in it, which is when i got back to the car
hold up
imma let you log into my gmail and listen to it (she has this crazy thing that sends her voicemails into her gmail, so she can listen there and they also TRANSCRIBE them...a source of great comedy)
me: WAH i am at work
Sarah: oh crap you're at work
i'll email you my login info
me: mmk
yeah i need to hear this
Sarah: if you abuse that power i will find you in the night
me: also you called yourself...perfection
Sarah: it's just mumble jumble for the first 2 and a half minutes
me: meh gmail isn't fun to hack
Sarah: and then it's like AAAAAAAAAH
hahahaha the scream is 2:19 into it (Listen to the message by clicking here!)
me: i fully plan on ripping the audio and editing it in garage band
Sarah: and i'm yelling "GOOO I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!"
me: LOL
Sent at 4:18 PM on Wednesday
me: this is the greatest thing ever.
Sarah: i wish the voicemail were better
it was so good
but you can clearly hear me yelling at it for about 15 seconds which is enough
my phone was in my pocket
omg what a great day
me: hahahahahahaha i cannot stop laughing

Later:
Sarah: also on my list of pathetic things today, i just sewed a hole in my jeggins
because i am cheap and don't want to buy another 15 dollar pair from target
Sent at 4:39 PM on Wednesday
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Davis...you are DEF pulling me out of work boredom!
Sarah: the reason i was even in my car in the first place was to go to walgreens and buy a sewing kit for my jeggings
me: it just keeps getting betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


GLORIOUS.