Woof

And it begins.

The feeling like I could burst into tears at any moment. I don't remember if I felt this way a year ago or not. Actually realistically a year ago on this day I was PANICKED and trying to figure out a solution to the massive snow storm that was barreling its way towards Woodbridge and threatening to end the concert I spent 6 months planning...

And we all know how that worked out. But I think I can assume I wasn't weepy. Twelve hours later though...weepy is an understatement.

It's hard to mentally prepare for this time. I think it will always be hard in some way or another. This year is different than last year in that the pain isn't still fresh, and life HAS gone on...which is just a reminder that life has gone on anyway. And that's hard. Now it's hard to imagine what it would be like with them here, because so much has changed BECAUSE they're not.

I'm excited for tonight but I'm also really nervous and I'm not sure why. I'm just so anxious. I think I need cookies. And maybe I should get out of bed. I've been curled up in fetal position with my computer for the past two hours, even though my room looks like a bomb exploded and I have errands to run and Christmas presents to make. And the ABC store to go to. Sighhhhhh.

Until then, it's a Sara Bareilles kind of day.