WAKE UP OF DEATH

I guess that blog title is a bit of a contradiction. Whatevs.

I am WRECKED today. I slept really badly last night because I was worried I was going to sleep through my assessment for personal training this morning, so I woke up like, every hour, and I had to wake up for real at SIX to make sure I was there by 7. So I'm so exhausted. And it's snowing AGAIN (GAH) and I just want to be at home in my bedddddd. Alas, I cannot at ALL today because this is my last weekend of shows (COME SEE IT!). I'm supposed to go to a cast party in DC tonight but I don't know if I'm going to be able to last that long (that's what she said). I think I'm going to leave work early though so that I have time to take the dog out and take a shower. Or do SOMETHING to feel better because I currently feel like crap.

Whiney blog post. Sorry not sorry. I'll try and update next week once my life is chilled out (aka after the shows are completely done. AND I CAN GET A NEW HAIRCUT OMGGGGG I CAN'T WAITTTTTTTTTTT). And I won't be whiny because I'll have gotten regular sleep.

COME SEE MY SHOW!

COME SEE DROWSY

OPENING THIS FRIDAY! (note: If you'd like to see ME in this show, I won't be at the 1/15 and 1/16 performances because of work...so come another day. But if you don't care about seeing me come any day!)

You can find tickets here! COME COME COME!

Here's an article about our show (on the second page, that's me all the way to the right!) if you're interested:


SEE YOU AT THE SHOW!

BRIEF UPDATE!

So I need to go to bed, but I wanted to blog about my job first!!! So this is going to be super super short and hopefully this weekend I have time to write something a little more substantial.

As you can tell, I am SO busy!!! But I actually love that and feel like I thrive under a lot of activity, so busy is definitely a good thing! I don't even have time to text anyone back during work...which if you know me even a little bit, tells you a whole lot about how much there is to do. I have jumped into real life head first, lemme tell ya. My friends and family have been asking what all I've been doing...and the answer is anything and everything. Today's been my favorite so far because I'm starting to get more of a feel for it, plus we got to go through all the Silent Auction gifts, and I love stuff, so that was fun. There's a signed JoBros poster...this auction is going to be (Borat voice...shout out to you Allison) GREAT SUCCESS! Also I created and printed my own business cards (I think I'm too excited about the fact that I have business cards) and got to buy office supplies for my desk from Staples. Paid for by the FSO. NEWPLANNERIAMSOEXCITED.

That last paragraph was SO nerdy. I feel like Pam Beasley. Which reminds me, I need to go to bed now (I fall asleep to The Office...it's fine). Because I NEED rest. I have had and will continue to have at least a 15 hour day every day this week (except yesterday, which we got off, and I didn't plan anything on purpose because I needed to come home and be comatose), because my first week of work just happened to coincide with the final two weeks of Drowsy...meaning we have no "end time". And next week is tech. And if you know anything about theatre, you know exactly what that means for me. PLUS next week is concert week for the FSO (yeah did I mention that I'm missing Saturday and Sunday's performances of Drowsy next week because it also happens to be one of six concert weekends this year for the FSO? My. Life.) so it's going to be nuts at work too. I'm obviously really excited for next weekend, but I simultaneously can't wait for it to be over. Because after next week Drowsy rehearsals cease, meaning I can do normal things at night again...LIKE GO TO THE GYM AND WATCH TV. And work will calm down slightly (but not much because we have a huge gala on Feb 11).

Sorry that paragraph is basically just my schedule. Dan is cringing somewhere and he doesn't even know why (and he probably never will because I'm pretty sure he never reads this hahahaha)...but I do. Sorry I suck at blogging today. I'm just trying to be brief and concise and I'm doing neither. And I NEED to go to bed because I have to wake up at SEVEN. GROSS.

I actually had planned this morning to try and blog about the adventures of Jim, Joe, and Shan circa 2005-2006, but it's late and I need sleep...but know that it was inspired by listening to the Kane Show on 99.5 this morning. Kane and Samy were trying to get Sarah to tell them about a time she accidentally let a fart slip out in front of someone, which she obviously refused and said she didn't do stuff like that. It was literally like listening to a conversation we had on one of our many trips to Jim's house after school (either before or after we'd drive by the kids who always were playing on their skateboards on Lindendale, when Jim would roll down the window and yell "YOU SUCK! WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY YOU SUUUUUUUCK" everytime we drove by them....aka every single day. HILARIOUS). I have many, MANY more absurd stories about the three of us, like the time Jim and Joe got drunk right before a bat mitzvah we went to together:
...but that's for another day. Now I sleep.

Updates soon?!

I'm nocturnal

I'm pretending it isn't insomnia. I was tired for HOURS and bam I get in bed and all of a sudden my brain won't turn off. But it's okay because I trust myself to sleep normally starting tomorrow night in preparation for NEW JOB ON MONDAY!!!! Hear that brain? I trust you...

Just had the most ridiculous two days ever. What happens when literally 20 of your friends decide on a whim to go to Manhattan for New Years? MADNESS. Glorious madness. I'd like to personally thank Allison Kinney for organizing probably the best NYE I've ever had. The stories will be told for decades. Centuries maybe. I'd tell them here but I don't consider them particularly public blog friendly. But summarized here's NYE in NYC 2k10/11: Catch phrases (GAME TIME, the tightness, refocus, and still pumpin'), hashbrown and clutch pumpin, a NYE involving sky diving and turning off planes, spending every waking moment with David Rea and loving it, Josh and Brandon's adventures, a bottle of Absolut: Brooklyn being the first and only credit card purchase, exploding ginger ale, two hours late for EVERYTHING, Justin Bieber, Boxers Bar, spiked milkshakes, Josh's burger ecstasy, being awkward hat twins with the girl who sat RIGHT NEXT TO ME on the L, secret undercover texting, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH SMITH!!!!, never eating, PIZZAAAAAAAA, Subway fails, porn star bathroom, FB videos, American Girl Dolls, DANIEL'S SURPRISE!, Grey Goose and Patron, Road's balloon, the secret cellar, SPARKLES!, JMU friends on the bus, THE CRAZY GIRL NEXT TO ME, David's asian luck, singing Santa Fe on our empty subway car, scary Broadway Junction, hipsters, Elmo and Cookie Monster, falling asleep on the subway and waking up in the Bronx, and finally getting my french toast...once we got back from NY.

Awesome.

I'm basically just posting pieces of my inner monologue in this particular blog post because then maybe you will understand why I can't sleep. I have all of this simultaneously occurring in my head.

Marry You by Bruno Mars is my latest musical obsession. I have clearly been hanging out with Joe 24/7.

I also decided that this year's theme is 2011: The Year of Shannon. I'm not really sure what this means but I think it has a nice ring to it. ;)

I am so dehydrated because I keep forgetting to drink water.

WHY IS INCEPTION SO TIGHT. I could watch it every day.

I have incredible friends. I am grateful for each and everyone one of them.


Glad to get that off my chest. This is the most ADD blog post ever. Sorry not sorry.

I think I need to write more short stories, like this one I wrote accidentally. Woof that was SO long ago! I wonder what HBB is up to now...

Busy-ness resumes tomorrow. Break is officially over. But so much excitement is on the horizon! New job on Monday, Drowsy opens in less than two weeks!!!, my first FSO concert weekend, training sessions with new personal trainer, lots of birthdays...and I'm sure many exciting things that I don't yet know about. HOORAYYYYYYYY! Let the new year beginnnnn!

Love You Sky Big

I knew I wanted to blog today, I just wasn't sure how I wanted to do it. I want to keep it short and simple (plus I have tequila waiting for me so I can't linger by blogging). I still don't really know what to say so this is me winging it.

It's a weird thing, grief. It fades but then it comes back in full force. I don't get sad as much as I used to, but the times I do definitely pack a punch. And it never comes when you expect it. I do think that sometimes I anticipate the sadness (aka me yesterday), but more often than not it happens randomly. You'd think I would be really down today, but I'm feeling much better than I expected. I attribute some of that to last night, which was everything I could have asked for. I'd say about 40 of us invaded Red Robin, cleaned out their tequila (literally), and screamed all the words to Don't Stop Believin' (thanks to Jacob Grob and the iHome he purchased for the occasion). I was surrounded by some of the people I love most in this world. It was exactly what I needed.

I can't believe it's been two years. December 19, 2008. So much has changed since their death. When I think about it, it's like EVERYTHING has changed. Call it moving on, or the sadness fading due to time...I call it living. Which is the biggest thing I took from all of that happening hands down. Before they died I took living for granted. I pretended to be a person of action and instead I spent my time waiting for life to happen to me. But after they died I couldn't keep living my life that way and I think that's why so much feels different to me. Because I'm different. I live differently. I don't waste opportunities and I really to at least try to live every day like it could be my last.

I mean, it's what Jim would have wanted, isn't it?

It still hurts to live in this world without them. I miss them every day. There's so much I wish I could share with them. But I'm not going to spend tonight being sad. I'm going to spend tonight remembering two of the best people I ever knew and celebrating the fact that I was lucky enough to consider them family. So tonight, wherever you are, raise a glass to Jim and Mrs. Smith and know that I'm doing the same.

And I say this with complete sincerity...if you're reading this, I love you sky big.

Woof

And it begins.

The feeling like I could burst into tears at any moment. I don't remember if I felt this way a year ago or not. Actually realistically a year ago on this day I was PANICKED and trying to figure out a solution to the massive snow storm that was barreling its way towards Woodbridge and threatening to end the concert I spent 6 months planning...

And we all know how that worked out. But I think I can assume I wasn't weepy. Twelve hours later though...weepy is an understatement.

It's hard to mentally prepare for this time. I think it will always be hard in some way or another. This year is different than last year in that the pain isn't still fresh, and life HAS gone on...which is just a reminder that life has gone on anyway. And that's hard. Now it's hard to imagine what it would be like with them here, because so much has changed BECAUSE they're not.

I'm excited for tonight but I'm also really nervous and I'm not sure why. I'm just so anxious. I think I need cookies. And maybe I should get out of bed. I've been curled up in fetal position with my computer for the past two hours, even though my room looks like a bomb exploded and I have errands to run and Christmas presents to make. And the ABC store to go to. Sighhhhhh.

Until then, it's a Sara Bareilles kind of day.

Tis the Season to be full of hatred

Yeah I'm blogging twice in one day. Consider yourselves lucky.

I look forward to Christmas music every year. In general, I'm happy with everything 97.1 plays (although after a while it does get pretty repetitive). I'm filled with joy everytime I hear Sleigh Ride (the best one is the all orchestral one with the trombone "neigh" at the end), Nat King Cole, Bing Crosby, Andy Williams, The Carpenters, Last Christmas, or anything Mariah Christmas CD.

But there are serious downsides to 97.1 Christmas. First and foremost, since I usually drive home around 10 pm from rehearsal, it means I have to listen to Delilah's voice and stupid stories EVERY DAY. I hate her so much. I don't care about your kids, I don't care about your family's restaurant, please shut up and get your voice OUT OF MY CAR.

The second is the AWFUL Christmas music that you would never hear in any other circumstance, which is the point I've been trying to get to. I was inspired to write this post about two weeks ago when I blogged about why I hate Dave Matthews Band. And since it's now appropriate to the season, I bring you:

TOP 5 CHRISTMAS SONGS THAT SHOULD BURN IN HELL

5. Ring Christmas Bells
This is new to the list. Somehow I had never heard it before until this year. This is not to be confused with Carol of the Bells, a very famous Christmas Song with the same exact tune. To be quite honest I can only stand Carol of the Bells to a point anyway, because I think I've sung the song approximately 1000 times thanks to "Troubadour Caroling" when I was in high school. But this song is heinous. The singers sound TERRIBLE. They changed the words as well as some of the harmony and it's all just very stupid. Hands down the worst part is the massive augmented chord that starts to build at 1:50 and culminates at 2:02 in almost 10 full seconds of horror. Congrats Ray Conniff, your life sucks.

4. Same Old Lang Syne
This song isn't necessary musically offensive to me...it's just the most boring song EVER. The same melodic line repeats three times a verse...and there are like 20 verses. WHAT. Once you've heard the first 30 seconds you're pretty much good to go. "The beer was empty and our tongues were tired" Really? THEN STOP SINGING.

3. Please Come Home for Christmas
It takes all my willpower not to drive off the road when I hear that four note introduction of DOOM (admittedly, that video is kind of awesome).

2. Christmas Shoes
I know I am ruffling feathers with this one. So many people I know are obsessed with this song to the point of it being their favorite one to hear. And I have gotten grief about it before. "How can you hate Christmas Shoes, it's so sweet and sad! I cry everytime I listen to it!" Sorry not sorry, this is one of the worst songs ever. I wonder if this guy thought "Hmm...what's a good way to sell Christmas music...make people feel sentimental and cry a lot...I've got it...I'll write a song about a poor under-privileged boy whose mom is dying at Christmas!" You can't deny it was marketing genius. Slap on a sappy backtrack complete with the "always essential" children's choir and you've got yourself a hit. And apparently it's WRONG if you don't like this song because it must mean you have NO SOUL. Well you know what? THEN SO BE IT! I hate this song and if it weren't for Elton John's grave mistake, this song would be NUMBER ONE on this list. SUCK ON THAT! (Also, the video I chose for this song does an excellent job of exemplifying everything I hate about this song...also its hilarious)

And number one, hands down, belongs to:
1. Step Into Christmas
I can't believe the all caps haven't crept in yet. This is actually my least favorite song...ever. Not just for Christmas. Ever. EVER EVER EVER I HATE IT SO MUCH (there we go). I LOVE Elton John...WHAT WAS HE THINKING. The first two seconds alone can make my skin crawl. I don't really know where this hatred began. It's probably because it's so catchy, which usually I enjoy but in this case it means it never leaves your head EVER. Christmas DJs happen to have a knack for knowing when I've been having a bad day because that's usually when I hear this song. I'm running late, there's traffic, blah blah blah, next thing you know: BAM IT'S STEP INTO CHRISTMAS. I literally think this must be the song they play in hell. On repeat. I wish I had more reasons to back up how I feel about this song but I recognize it's not rational. It's just hatred.

**Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree almost made this list but I know that deep down I actually like the song. It's not the song's fault I have heard it EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE GOTTEN IN THE CAR this holiday season.